


52 Days

by Mettespo



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: Chapter 12: Newsroom Fanfic Challenge June, F/M, canon compliant AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-04-29 19:10:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5139275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mettespo/pseuds/Mettespo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens between the time Will goes to jail and when he gets released 52 days later? A view on some random days and what could have happened. I don't own anything, all characters belong to Sorkin.</p><p>The M-rating only refers to the last chapter, all other chapters are max. rated T and can also be read as one shots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

**Day 1**

The most wonderful day of her life had become one of the most terrible days of her life.

Standing next to Charlie Mac watched her newlywed husband being taken away from her by the U.S. Marshals. She quickly glanced at Charlie, taking his hand for support, then focused on Will again as long as she could see him.

When the large front doors opened she could hear the reporters, who had been waiting outside for hours, frantically starting to shout out at Will and Lasenthal for a comment. Then the doors closed and all that was left was silence.

Mac swallowed down her tears and looked at Charlie. „Did they have to handcuff him? He did come here voluntarily..."

„That is just procedure, dear." He put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her for comfort. „Come on, let's take the back door. I'll take you home."

„No." Mac shook her head. „We have a show to do. Especially today."

On the ride back neither of them said a word.

 

At the studio everybody was already waiting, clapping and congratulating her and at the same time assuring her of their support.

„Thanks, guys, I really really appreciate it." Mac gave them a grateful smile. „But there's work to be done. Jim, you will handle the rundown meeting. Sloan, you will fill in for Will. Let me know when Gary is back from City Hall, I will do the report myself."

That surprised everybody, but then Jim slowly nodded. „Will do, Mac."

She went into her office to change and get at least five minutes to herself before diving into work, but the latter plan was disrupted by a phone call from her mother, who had only just then checked her voicemail and got MacKenzie's message about the preponed wedding.

„Mom, I'm sorry you and Dad couldn't be here but after the court's ruling we decided on the spot to get married now... No, of course we didn't want to do it this way, but apart from the fact that I wanted to marry him before he went to jail there was... there were other...things... to be considered... No, I'm not pregnant...! ...Ma, listen, I'm really not up for this right now, and I have to get back to work... Yes, I will call you, promise... Thanks, Mom, I love you, too"

Mac hung up and took a deep breath. She knew there were more calls to come - her sisters, Will's sister and others - so she switched her phone to voicemail. Reproaches were one thing but she couldn't take any sympathy calls now.

„Pull yourself together, Mac", she told herself through clenched teeth. Right at this moment Jenna opened the door and told her that Gary had just gotten back with the footage. „I'll be right there. Tell him to meet me in the editing room."

 

Having Sloan anchor Newsnight was the perfect opportunity to open with Will having been taken into custody. Everybody in the control room went silent when Gary's footage of Will being escorted down the City Hall stairs went on-screen. Then MacKenzie's voice filled the air:

_„In a court hearing ACN's very own anchor of „Newsnight", William Duncan McAvoy, has been held in contempt by Judge Cedarman today for refusing to give up a source which has provided ACN with classified government material._

_Though the newsworthiness of the story has been confirmed by the court the leak was categorized as a matter of national security and Will McAvoy has been sentenced to an undetermined number of prison days until he reveals his source._

_After an up until then unheard of raid of the ACN newsroom by the FBI two weeks ago this is yet another example of how the freedom of the press, guaranteed by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, is being undermined by the government._

_ACN proudly supports Will McAvoys determination to protect his source and will do everything within its power to bring him back home to his Newsnight family._

_For ACN's Newsnight, this is MacKenzie McHale McAvoy."_

„Good job, Mac." Jim put his arm around her shoulder and held her tight for a moment.

 

After the show Mac went back to her office, followed by Sloan.

„Good show, Mac. Now grab your coat, I'll take you home."

„Oh... Thanks, Sloan, but I still have to work."

„Not a chance. I assume you will spend most of the upcoming days working late but I will not let you do that on your wedding day. I promised Will I'd take care of you and that's what I'll do." Sloan took Mac's coat and purse, ignored her protests and led her out of the newsroom.  
„You'll stay with me tonight, sis. No argument."

Mac was too exhausted to fight and followed her; feeling somehow relieved not to have to make another decision for now. When they arrived at Sloan's appartment, a classy yet comfortable loft with a magnificent view of the city, she immediately let herself fall on the couch.

Sloan conjured up a bottle of red wine, filled two glasses and handed one to her. „Take this; I'll go and change. Be right back."

For the first time since Will had been escorted out of City Hall Mac was alone with a little peace and quiet around her. She stared into the glass, swirling the wine around, but then she took a deep breath and suddenly burst into tears. The next thing she knew was that Sloan was holding her, putting the wine glass on the table, bedding her head on her shoulder and trying to soothe her.

„Hush, Kenzie, hush... It's alright. You're not alone in this, all your friends are here to help you through it... Shhhh..." She gently swayed from left to right until Macs crying subsided to an occasional sob. After a few minutes Mac slowly sat up. „I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me."

„Well, I do", Sloan replied dryly. „Having your fiancé sentenced to jail, getting married on the spot instead of having the dream wedding you planned for twenty-plus years, watching your husband being incarcerated after being married for about 10 minutes... If anybody has a right to cry it's you."

Mac took the tissue Sloan handed her, wiped off her tears and tried to smile.

„You know, I would kill him if I wasn't so proud of him...!"

„We are all proud of him. And honestly, Mac... Before you came to ACN – Who would have thought that Will would act with such integrity and become such an important mentor to all of us?"

„That is Will... You didn't know the real Will McAvoy before. I have rarely met such a... well, yeah... _good_ man in my life. He has very high morals and would do anything for his family and friends. That was one reason why I came back. I knew he was better than he presented himself... and the show."

„You've never told me: How did the two of you meet?"

Mac smiled nostalgically.

„We literally bumped into each other... Will was already an anchor when I started at ACN as producer of another show. On my first day I got off the elevator, walked around the corner and right into him."

„And then? Sorry, am I too nosy?" Sloan added quickly.

Mac shook her had. „It's fine... Will was struck immediately, but I had just been dumped by Brian, so I declined his invitations. I just wasn't ready for something new. Will didn't give up and asked me out over and over again, so finally, after weeks, I agreed to a dinner. And he went out of his way to make it special... Beautiful flowers, one of the best restaurants, afterwards we strolled a little and took a horse carriage ride... He was so funny and smart and caring... After that night I was pretty much convinced I should at least give him a chance." She winked at Sloan.

„Well, see where it got you." Sloan picked up her glass. „Here's to you. To both of you!"


	2. Day 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To put a realistic feel on the frame of this chapter in prison I followed the rules & regulations for NY correctional facilites, i.g. on physical contact, items allowed to be brought in etc., as found on the website of the New York State's Department of Corrections and Community Supervision.

**Day 4**

Visiting days at the Manhattan Detention Complex were Wednesday and Thursday - not feasible for Mac due to her work hours, though she knew Charlie would let her go if she asked him – as well as Friday through Sunday at more convenient hours.

Today was Friday, finally. Her first visit to prison.

Rebecca Halliday had sent her information on the rules of a visit as well as a list of items she was allowed to bring Will, so she had packed up some things he might need.

As much as she longed to see Will and make sure he was alright, she was terribly nervous. The security check didn't help with that either, although she had purposefully avoided wearing or carrying anything that could trigger the metal detector or might provoke a strip search.

Naturally she wanted to appeal to Will, but she knew that her husband liked to see her in everyday clothes like Levi's and simple t-shirts or casual blouses, so that made it easy.

Mac handed in her package for Will to be checked for contraband and was finally led into the visiting area. Luckily they wouldn't be separated by glass or had to talk through receivers. In fact, as Rebecca had told her, even kissing, hugging and holding hands was allowed in New York correctional facilities as long as certain rules were followed.

She had arrived shortly after 08:30 a.m. Not only because she couldn't wait to see her husband but also because she hoped that at this early hour not many other visitors would be disturbing their time together. But she didn't have to worry about that; because Will as a former prosecutor was in solitary confinement for his protection they got a room for themselves.

Will was led in through a door on the other side of the room and his face lightened up when he saw her. She rushed over to embrace him, holding him tight as if she never wanted to let go of him again. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his head in her neck, deeply inhaling her scent. „Mac..."

She took his cheeks into her hands and kissed him hard, then hugged him again. After a minute he loosened his grip, took her hand and led her to the nearest table. They sat down on opposite sides, holding hands.

„Are you alright?"They both spilled out the question at the exact same time.

„ _I'm_ fine", Mac almost rolled her eyes. „How are _you_ doing? Are they treating you okay? Are you safe in here?" She nervously kneaded his hand.

„I'm alright", Will reassured her calmly and put his other hand on top of hers. „The guards are friendly, I have a cell of my own and don't get in contact with other prisoners. Don't worry about me." Mac searched his eyes to see if he told the truth and for now she was satisfied with the answer.

She exhaled into the silence between them and gave a nervous laugh. „This is awkward..."

„It is a little, isn't it?" Will agreed with a faint smile. „But it's wonderful just to see you, Kenzie."

She gave him an affectionate look. „Same here... I brought some things for you – clothes - namely socks and underwear, a couple of books, Time Magazine, pencil and pad, envelopes... Rebecca gave me a list of things that are allowed. They are checking the package and you should get it later. And here..." she reached for her purse and pulled out some photographs. „I thought you might like these."

Will looked at a picture of their wedding and one taken at the office which showed his wife, Charlie and some of the others holding up papers spelling _„We miss you"_.

„That's great, thank you. I'll put them up over my bed..." He took her hand again. „Did I tell you that you looked beautiful in your wedding dress?"

Mac's face lightened up. „You didn't look too bad either... You know, Billy... Despite of the circumstances it was a beautiful ceremony."

„It was..." Will smiled. „But I know it wasn't the wedding you always dreamed off... Not to speak of the wedding night..." Mac blushed slightly, which Will thought to be adorable.

„I was more comfortable than you. I spent the night at Sloan's place and we made it a girl's night." She lowered her voice and smiled teasingly. „And we did have the night before..."

„Oh yeah... I've been thinking about that a lot in here..." Will looked very pleased while letting his thoughts go back to that night. Without talking about it they had both wanted to make these last hours before his court appearence special and memorable which resulted in one of the most passionate and satisfying nights they had ever spent together. He kissed her hand and sighed.

„But I do want you to have 'your' wedding. So why don't we have a big party once I'm out of here and invite everybody from the original guest list? We could even take our vows again... _and_ I could make up for the wedding night..." Will's eyes sparkled and he leered at her. „What do you think?"

She returned his grin. „I can't wait..." Then she turned serious again. „And it might calm down the storm with our families and everybody else who wasn't there. I've been getting some pretty irate calls... But Billy, do you have any idea how long you will have to stay in here?"

„I honestly don't know, Mac. But this is supposed to be coercive, not punitive, so sooner or later they will realize I'm not giving up the source and then they'll have to let me go. And the Feds are continuing their investigation, so maybe they'll find it another way... I am just sorry that _you_ have to go through all this..."

Mac sighed. „Don't worry about me, I told you, I'm fine. I do have the easier part here... Work, our friends, the appartment – Lot's of distractions for me. It's you I'm worried about."

„Don't be." They went silent for a few minutes, just looking at each other. Then Will tapped on the chair next to him. Mac got up, sat down close to him and rested her head on his shoulder while he put his arms around her and held her tight.

„So tell me, what's new at ACN. How's Pruit behaving?"

Mac lifted her head for a moment and made a face. „It's terrible. Everything he talks about is social media, amateur reporters and how to attract a younger audience – Which for him seems to consist of dumb, mindless and uninterested teens who don't have the brains to be bothered with actual news. As long as they know that Shakira has released a new album we don't need to tell them about the IS, the financial crisis in Europe, the debt ceiling or the draught in California..." Will cradled her for a moment. „Charlie is doing what he can, but believe me – Dealing with Leona and Reese was a picnic compared to Pruit... And Pruit started to bring in some of his own people, who are basically just doing what he tells them to do..."

„I'm sorry I can't be there to support you... But you do understand, don't you?"

Mac smiled reassuringly. „I do and I'm terribly proud of you. You need to know that. Though it doesn't mean I don't miss you."

„You better!" he said and softly kissed her on the head. She looked up and was just about to kiss him back when the door opened and a guard entered. „McAvoy, it's time. You got two more minutes."

Wills smile disappeared and he closed his eyes for a second. „Thanks, Mike. I'll be right there."

Mac lifted her hand and put it on his cheek, caressing his cheekbone with her thumb. „Promise me you'll take care of yourself? Don't get into a stupid argument with anybody, okay?"

„I won't, promise." Will hugged her tightly for a moment, then kissed her. Tenderly at first but then deepening the kiss as if it had to last him for a lifetime.

The guard coughed slightly and they hesitantly pulled away from each other while standing up. Mac blinked. „Charlie will come to see you tomorrow. If you need anything let him know, I'll be back on Sunday... I love you, Billy."

„And I love you, Kenzie..." A last kiss good-bye, then Will turned around, not letting go of her hand until it was out of his reach.  
He didn't look back.

Mac knew she wasn't allowed to leave the room before him, but even if that hadn't been the case she wouldn't have moved before the door had closed behind him. Then she sighed.

Another day without Will.


	3. Day 6

**Day 6**

Why didn't this damn wallpaper stay where it belonged?

This was the second time the strip of wallpaper came down when she turned around to paste the next one, but MacKenzie didn't give up. She was determined to continue renovating the appartment, at least up to the point where everything was done that Will and she had planned and decided on already. It wasn't as easy - and fun - doing it alone, but at least it kept her busy and distracted.

She needed the distraction.  
As long as she worked she didn't have to think, so all week she had arrived early at the office and stayed late. When she came home past midnight she just fell into bed, though sleep was mostly still hours away and that's when the thinking began. So she even spent most of Saturday at her desk; sorting, filing and reviewing last week's shows.

She had hardly returned any calls from her family and worried friends yet – let alone reporters who wanted a quote on Will and their marriage.  
So far she had also rejected all invitations to join the team at Hang Chew's after work. She knew they were all worried about her, but she just couldn't bear the thought of Will being alone in his cell while she was out with their friends, laughing and drinking. Or worse ruining their evening because they might think they had to be considerate of her situation and keep it down. They worked hard and they deserved to let off steam.  
So she had spent most of the time alone and this weekend she had taken on the living room as her project.

Mac wasn't really talented when it came to working with her hands, but at least that meant she had to concentrate and couldn't let her thoughts wander to Will. Or at least she shouldn't, though she did often enough... That was probably one of the reasons why the wallpaper kept coming down...  
Her father always used to say that you have to put your heart into what you are doing, and hers wasn't in this completely. She kept telling herself _'I'm doing this for us'_ , but she would so much rather do it _with_ him instead of _for_ him...

Maybe she should throw a party where everybody who wanted food had to put up at least three strips of wallpaper or lay parquet flooring...

Mac had just finished this thought when the door bell rang. „Good timing", she muttered relieved, put aside the paste brush and wiped her hands on an old towel while walking to the door. When she saw her visitor she froze.

„Hello, Mac..."

Mac didn't know what to say. She had expected Jim or maybe Sloan and Don were coming by on this Sunday afternoon, as so far her friends had made sure not to leave her alone for too long. They were constantly dropping in at work, inviting her to lunch or dinner and calling regularly. She suspected they had worked out kind of a schedule to keep an eye on her.

But instead she looked into Molly's face – One of her oldest friends who part of her actually hated at this moment.

„Can I come in?

Mac hesitated for a moment, thoughts swirling through her mind. Finally she turned around and walked back into the living room without saying a word. Molly quickly followed her in and closed the appartment door. „Wow, you still have a lot of work ahead of you."

„Well, I do have to do it all alone now", Mac replied coldly and unspoken accusations filled the air in between them. Finally she pointed at the stubborn piece of wallpaper which had come down again in the meantime. „Do you know how to hang wallpaper? You might as well make yourself useful while you're here."

„Sure. Do you have an old shirt for me I can wear?"

Mac looked her over from top to bottom. „You'll have to wear one of Will's. Take a look in the top box on the right in there." She nodded her head towards the bedroom.

After a minute Molly came back, wearing a grey shirt from Northwestern University which Mac had given to Will as a prank a couple of days after he had found out that it had been her who had 'produced' his infamous monologue from the audience. „Not that. Wait, I'll get you another one."

Will had not been amused and hated the shirt in the beginning. However after their engagement he suddenly began wearing it at home, insisting that this was where their new future had started. He wouldn't be caught dead with it in public though, despite having been challenged by her a number of times.

They both worked in silence for a while and actually managed to put up three more wallpaper strips – and keep them up there - when Mac finally cleared her throat.  
„So, what do you want?"

Molly turned around. „First of all I wanted to congratulate you on your wedding. Believe it or not, I am really happy for you both."

„And?" Mac nodded in acceptance but wasn't going to let her off the hook that easily.

„I wanted to apologize for the way everything went down during our... visit... to your newsroom. Don't get me wrong, I'm not apologizing for having been there; we did our job. But I admit that we could have handled the whole matter more sensitively... And I shouldn't have let it get personal between the two of us."  
Molly was looking at Mac for a reaction, but she just kept putting paste on the next strip of paper.

I should tell you that my boss knows I am here."  
Now Mac looked up and stared at her which made Molly lift her hands defensively. „Seeing how quickly you went to the altar they think there is a chance you know more than you have told us and just wanted to get spousal privilege. They are probably hoping you'll slip or I will squeeze something out of you under the cover of our friendship, but that's not why I came over here. Or what I think. And I honestly don't even want to know, you have to believe me."

Mac didn't react at first, but then she slowly nodded.  
„Will and I got married because we wanted to. Because we are in love and have already lost 6 years of our lives. And you know that... But also... I needed him to know that I believe in our future together and will be right here when he comes back. You heard some things about his past. You know that he never had a real family life like every kid should have. I need him to know that he has one now, that I am here, so that he has something to hold on to."

„I know, and I'm sorry it had to come to this..." Molly replied sympathetically. „I probably shouldn't say this but part of me admires him for standing by his convictions. I really respect that... How is he?"

Mac sighed. „I went to see him on Friday and again this morning. So far he seems to be holding up okay. But he believes he has to be strong for my sake and won't let me see what's going on inside of him... He can't admit that he is scared and confused and angry, so he's putting up a front to make me feel better...That is so typical for him..."

„I know a couple of the guards down there. I can ask them to keep an eye on him and tell me in case they notice anything weird or unusual in his behaviour. If you like me to, that is", Molly hastily added, still treading on shaky ground.

„I would appreciate that, Molly, thanks. But... if there is anything to tell, please only talk to me, no one else."

„Promise, pinky swear", Molly held out the bent little finger of her right hand. With a warm feeling Mac remembered some of the probably hundreds of pinky swears the two of them had shared, from not ever telling anybody where Molly hid her braces to Mac's first boyfriend at age thirteen. Not that anything had ever happened between them, but if her mother had known...

With a solemn „For old times sake" she entangeled her pinky with Molly's and for the first time since her arrival Mac smiled at her.

In a now more comfortable silence, distrupted only by an occasional comment or curse here and there, they continued with the walls and half an hour later they looked at their accomplishment with pride. The walls were done and everything had stayed where it was supposed to.

While Mac took a quick shower Molly changed back into her clothes and heated up some pizza she found in the fridge.

„I would have loved to invite you out for a drink, but I guess it's better not to be seen in public together right now." she shouted through the bathroom door Mac had left ajar once the water was turned off.

Wrapped in a towel and drying off her hair with another one Mac came out.

„That's okay. Check the fridge, there's a nice bottle of white wine in there."

When she was finished dressing into some comfortable sweats and a shirt Molly had already filled a couple of glasses and waited for her, sitting on one of the crates Will and Mac had been using as chairs until the bulk of their furniture got out of storage. Mac joined in, leaned back at the wall behind her and took an appreciative sip of wine with her eyes closed.

„So. How are _you_ holding up?"

Mac snorted and shrugged her shoulders. „I didn't even have time to think about anything, let alone let it sink in... I just keep busy... Work work work, either here or at the office, until I can't keep my eyes open anymore."

Molly knowingly looked at her. „Talk to me."

After a long silence Mac finally spoke.

„I'm very very proud of Billy. I miss him terribly... I'd like to beat him senseless...  
I'm angry at the source. I'm angry with you guys that you don't find it... I'm angry with Neal because he has told Will - although I know he made him do it... I'm angry about the direction _Newsnight_ is going under our new boss. I'm angry with Will that he has left me alone with this construction site. And our new boss. I'm angry that he left _me_ alone... That's what I'm feeling, 24/7... Do you want me to go on?"

„If you have more to say?" Mac shook her head and starred into the glass.

„Is this the first time you let it all out? You can't keep it bottled up, Mac... Talk to me, talk to Jim, talk to a shrink if that will help you. But please don't try to get through this alone."

Mac didn't answer but then she hesitantly asked: „Do you know... Did you hear anything about how long they will keep Will locked up if he doesn't give up the source? Any rumours?"

Molly regretfully shook her head. „No, I'm sorry... But I do know that for now they don't intend to back off. If they let him go after only a few days they lose face. And would set a precedent for the future. They have to keep him in jail for a while to discourage anybody else in a situation like this. Not that they would ever admit that it plays a role. I'm sorry, Mac, I'm pretty sure Will's being made an example off..."

A single tear rolled down Mac's cheek.  
„I miss him so much, Molly..." she whispered, her voice almost breaking. „The three years overseas were hell. The three years just working with him were often frustrating, even hurtful, but at least I could see him and talk to him almost every day. And these past months now... Everything just fell into place. Sure, we had to work out a lot of things and still have to, but we were together... We trusted each other again, not only professionally..." Mac lifted her glass but didn't drink.

„You know, when Will proposed he promised that he would never hurt me again – And now he just left... I _know_ he didn't want to and as I said, I really _am_ proud of him, so how can I be mad at him at the same time...? I feel like I'm letting him down..."

Molly leaned forward and took her hand.  
„You are not letting him down, Mac, stop thinking that. It's normal to have these mixed up feelings... Ask yourself:  
If Will would name the source, could he live with that? No, and that's why you would never ask him to do it, not to mention your own journalistic ethics. If you did, if you told him you couldn't stand to be without him any longer, I am pretty sure he would open his mouth and be home within the hour. He would probably hate himself for it and maybe even you, too, but that's not you anyway. I know you, Mac...  
You once told me that you confessed to your affair with Brian because you wouldn't have been able to live with yourself if you hadn't told Will. Well, _I know_ you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you asked Will to compromise his principles. That's why you will continue to be supportive, but that doesn't mean you have to suppress your feelings about the situation or even like it."

Mac thought about this for a while, then she looked up with a faint and at the same time sad smile.  
„Thanks, Molly, I needed to hear this...You're really a good friend... Though I do still hate you a little..."

„I know. Now eat your pizza."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading about this day?
> 
> A big "Thank you" goes to lilacmermaid33, who thankfully acted as my beta and gave me good tips on the devolopment of the chapter. :-)


	4. Day 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the next chapter.
> 
> I did struggle a little with Charlie, but lilacmermaid gave some great advice, thanks for that!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

**Day 10**

Mac had adopted the habit of arriving at the office early; after all, it wasn't like she was getting much sleep anyway and what – or who - else was there to keep her in bed these days?

Papers, files and folders were scattered across her desk where she was scanning the daily newspapers before the pitch meeting, when Charlie appeared in her open door and knocked at the glass.

„Morning, Charlie." She looked up and smiled at him. Over the last week and a half it had become his routine to drop in several times a day. He seemingly always had to discuss a small detail about the upcoming show, bring her some new numbers or came with a question in regard of a previous broadcast, but she knew that were only excuses to check up on her – Something she didn't think she would appreciate that much.  
„So early? What's up?"

„Our new boss wants to see us in his office."

„Oh, okay." Mac angled for her shoes and quickly stood up, putting the lid back on her neon marker at the same time. „Do you know what it's about?"

„He didn't say, let's go and find out." Charlie put his hand in the small of her back when she walked past him and led her out to the elevators. They were the only ones in the cabin riding up to the 44th floor and Mac could feel Charlie looking at her.  
„How are you holding up, kiddo?"

„I'm okay, Charlie, tired, but okay. Thanks for asking though. Will and I both have to get through this and we will..."

„I know I have said it before, but if there's ever anything you need, you'll come to me, right? Anything."

„I will, Charlie." She smiled at him gratefully and put her hand and his arm, squeezing it gently. When the elevator doors opened they walked to Pruit's office and his assistent waived them right in.

Pruit didn't even bother to look up from the papers in front of him when they entered the room but started right into the conversation. „So what about this McAvoy mess?"

Mac was taken aback at this question and gave Charlie a confused look, who just shrugged his shoulders. „I'm sorry, what exactly are you talking about?"

Now Pruit looked up and leaned back in his chair, holding his hands together in a triangle in front of his chest. „I want to know what ACN is going to do about the McAvoy story."

„I'm still not following", Charlie admitted, while Mac's eyes grew bigger as she was beginning to understand.

„He's been in jail for ten days now. Every news station in America is giving this daily coverage and what are we doing? He is _our_ goddamn news anchor and we don't make any use of that?"

„Now listen..." Mac started but Pruit cut her off, getting louder with every word.

„I've been waiting for days to see anything on our program, but...? Nothing! I want this to be covered by our station, starting today. We talked to the authorities if we can get an interview with McAvoy from prison; unfortunately that was denied. But there are other things we can do..." He stood up and came closer from behind his desk.  
„I want a counter shown in the corner of every _Newsnight_ broadcast showing his face and the number of days he is already behind bars. Same on the ACN website and his blog.  
I want a 30 minute report put together documenting all that has happened from the day the source contacted us to the day of the incarceration, including direct quotes from McAyoy about his time in prison. And I want it to be shown over and over on tv at all times of the day as well as being put up on the internet.  
I want staffers on different shows throughout the day talking about the story"

He paused for a second, then he walked right up to Mac and looked at her.  
„I want _you_ on the morning shows talking about McAvoy and your relationship."

Mac went completely ashen and was at a loss of words for a moment. Charlie gave her a worried look and quickly interceded.  
„What the fuck...!? Exactly _because_ Will McAvoy is part of this station we must not do anything..."

„Bullshit!" Pruit interrupted him impatiently. „McAvoy is one of _the_ stories at the moment so there is no question to whether we are going to cover him or not. He is _our_ man so the viewers should come to _us_ for information and not go elsewhere. Our numbers have gone up a little since the last week but extensive coverage could put us permanently in second place. At least."

Mac took a deep breath. A spark had came back into her eyes during Pruit's last sentences and her voice was full of scorn, when she spoke again.  
„You don't want information, you want _gossip_. All you care about are the ratings. You don't give a shit that a decent, honest man, an excellent journalist put himself on the line for this news station, for his own integrity and for the freedom of the press in this country."  
She clenched her fingers into a fist. „I will not – do you hear me? - I will _not_ put a counter on-screen! I will _not_ put the staff on any shows! There will be _no_ direct quotes from prison! And I will most certainly _not_ go on tv and talk about our private life! We are not the story!"

Pruit calmly answered with a stern look. „You will if I tell you to. And you will if you still want to have a job tomorrow."

Furiously Charlie took a step towards him, practically screaming at his boss.  
„What in the name of holy fuck are you talking about? You cannot order anybody to go on the air and talk about private matters. And it doesn't matter if we are talking about an assistent, a booker or an EP. You insist on that start preparing for the biggest fucking law suite this city has ever seen.  
And also, you and your high-paid legal team might have missed it, but the _only one_ who can fire MacKenzie is – as per her contract - Will McAvoy himself... What do you say to that, you...?"  
Charlie panted as if he had run up the whole flight of stairs from the newsroom and Mac reassuringly put her hand on his arm to calm him down, giving Pruit a fierce look at the same time.

The owner of ACN turned towards the window and didn't say a word for a minute. Then his shoulders shifted, convincing Mac he was revising his strategy. And sure enough his face showed a propitiating expression when he finally turned around.

„Look, MacKenzie... I apologize if I was insensitive, but I think the publicity can actually help to get your husband out of jail sooner. We have the chance to build up public pressure. Will is one of the country's top news stars and getting the public on his side might make the government want to end all this nice and quietly... And as for you saying that you are not the story... You yourself started _Newsnight_ with him being taken to prison last week."

Mac straightened her back to reach her full 5'8".  
„ _That_ is what's called reporting the news. We stated the facts and added a short statement of support for our colleague which nobody can hold against us. We didn't speculate, we didn't exaggerate, we didn't make anything up. And as far as my personal support for my husband is concerned: Me using my new last name at the end of that report is the only statement the public is going to get from me."  
With this Mac turned on her heels and stormed out of the office.

Pruit watched her leave, obviously slightly flabbergasted. „Skinner, talk to her."

Charlie turned his eyes from the door Mac had just disappeard through and looked Pruit squarely in the eyes, his deadly calm voice filling the room.  
„No, I won't. You are way out of line here and you know it... Jesus Christ, you own a reputable news station with highly qualified journalists and so far you have done next to fucking _nothing_ except lowering the quality of the program and alienate and discourage the staff... One thing you surprisingly got right: Will _is_ a story, so public pressure has been building up already. I'll be damned if I let this station join shoulders with the yellow press and drag their personal lifes out in the open..."  
Charlie took a deep breath. „I _will_ however talk to MacKenzie about the documentary you suggested. That might not be a completely bad idea if done right and that is the only way we would do it at all. Have a good day, Mr. Pruit..."

With another disgusted look Charlie left him standing in the middle of his office and went looking for Mac. He found her in her office, pacing back and forth and muttering swear words Charlie had never heard her use before.  
When she noticed him entering the room she turned around with a wild sparkle in her eyes. „I have never, Charlie, never loathed anybody as much as this man! Where does this imbecile get the nerve to ask something... No, not even ask: _order_ something like that? Who does he..."

„I know, MacKenzie." Charlie interrupted her. „Pruit went way off course up there and you did the right thing. But take a seat for a minute, will you?

„What are you up to now?" Mac hesitated, but then, still fuming, she fell down in her chair and started to vigorously tap on her desk with a pen.

„Just listen for a minute... Pruit is a damn prick and interviews, quotes and counters are bullshit, of course we won't do that.. But! The idea of a documentary isn't half bad..."  
Charlie raised his hand when Mac wanted to interrupt him and went on. „I told Pruit we _might_ consider it if we can do it our own way."

„And how do you plan on doing that?" Mac questioned incredulously. „I am not going to exploit Will, Charlie..."

„You won't have to, Mac. It doesn't have to be a whole half hour. We just stick to the facts at hand, garnish it with statements from expert constitutionalists and reputable media professionals and it will be a reasonable contrast to the fucking reports on most of the other networks. We will only show facts, no fluff, no personal interest stories, no speculations..." He looked at Mac whose expression wasn't quite as hostile anymore as it was a couple of minutes ago.  
„Why don't the two of us go and talk to Will about it? Visiting hours start at 1 p.m. on Thursdays..."

„Don't you think I know that?" Macs wasn't quite convinced but her face lightened up at the prospect of seeing Will on a day she hadn't expected to. Then a wide grin spread across her face. „But you'll have to take me without my bra..."  
Charlie starred at her, speechless for once. „The one I'm wearing today has an underwire and that could result in a a strip search I'm really not too keen on..."

Charlie burst out with laughter and winked at her. „I'm quite sure your husband won't mind. I'll go drink to that."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A couple of hours later Mac and Charlie were standing in the visiting room and they didn't have to wait long for Will to enter through the door. Surprise showed on his face when seeing them and he quickly went over to take Mac into his arms, holding her tight while nodding to his friend.

„What are you doing here today? I thought it would be Rebecca when they said I had a visitor. Is everything alright?" He worriedly looked at her.

„We're fine, we just need to discuss something with you." Mac assured him and placed a tender kiss on his lips. „Let's sit down." She led him to the nearest table and sat down next to him, entangling her fingers with his, while Charlie took his place on the other side.

„It's good to see you two kids together." he said, smiling at them like a proud father. „You do know you owe me for that, right? A bottle of nice Bourbon will be fine." He winked. „But let's get down to business. Will, listen..."

Recounting in all detail the events that had taken place earlier that day he filled Will in. „You would have been proud to see her standing up to that jerk!" he ended with a grin.

„I sure would have loved to see that." Will smiled, giving her hand a squeeze. „So what have you decided to do?"

„That's why we're here. Charlie wants to at least give Pruit the report on how the story unfolded. I'm not convinced and think we shouldn't do anything that looks like we're trying to improve our ratings by riding on your back."

Will remained silent, absently running his thumb over Mac's hand while thinking everything through. After a couple of minutes he turned to her. „I think I'll have to go with Charlie on this one, Mac. A segment on this story based on facts won't do any harm. And Pruit can see it as a compromise and doesn't completely lose face. Don't forget that he is our boss, as much as we dislike it, and we all have to continue working with him..."

„Will, I'm not willing to throw you to the sharks. You know people will say we're exploiting this, no matter how careful we tread."

Will looked at her, not saying anything for a moment. „Charlie, would you mind leaving me alone with Mac?"

„Not at all, son, not at all, I'll be waiting in the car. Take your time, Mac, the mini bar is well stocked. Will, I'll see you in a few days." He firmly shook his hand, gave Mac an encouraging pad on the back and knocked at the door for a guard to let him out.

When he had left Will turned to his wife.  
„Mac, that's not the reason you don't want this, is it? People thinking ACN is exploiting its own story? Come on...What's behind this?"

Mac blushed a little at the fact that he had seen through her so easily, but didn't say a word. Instead she took his hand and started painting small circles in his palm with her fingers.

„Mac, look at me." Will put the index finger of his other hand under her chin and lifted her head up so that he could look directly into her eyes. „What is it?"

She nervously bit her lip, but then it burst out of her.  
„I don't want them to use you. It's bad enough that the other stations and newspapers are doing it, but I don't want to be part of it. You are in here taking the rap for the shit somebody else has done and I don't want us to go on a rating's hunt on your back!"

„Oh Mac..." Will gently cupped her cheek and caressed it with his thumb. „I really appreciate you going to the barricades for me. I admit I'm glad you're not going to share our private moments with millions of viewers and the tabloids and I'm also not too keen on being a ring card boy on the ACN website, but a serious report won't do any harm. It might not do any good either, but it definitely won't hurt."

Mac resistance began to crumble but she still defiantly returned his gaze.

„Mac, you don't have to protect me. Nothing anybody says out there will affect me. Everybody I care about knows why I'm here and understands... Pruit is right for once, a reporter being imprisoned for protecting his source _is_ a story and you would be the first to agree if it weren't for me, right? And you have said yourself that the majority of the media is supporting us. They know what's at stake, so they won't badger us."

Mac sighed. „Are you sure about this, Billy? I just hate... I will never... I just don't want anybody to ever hurt you again..."

Will took her into his arms and held her as close as he could, overflowing with the love he felt for her.  
„You're one in a million, you know that, Kenz? I don't know what I ever did to deserve you..."

He pressed a kiss to her temple and let his hand slide up and down her back, when suddenly he stopped and pulled away an inch. „ _Mrs. McAvoy!_ Is it possible that you're not wearing a bra?"

Mac chuckled into his shirt, then gave him a mischievous smile. „This was an impromptu visit and I didn't want to go through the metal detectors with the underwire... You like it?

Will groaned and pulled her back into his arms. „You're killing me here, Kenz..."


	5. Day 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not really supposed to „lead" anywhere, it's just an attempt to show what might be going on in Will's mind, rambling around while being stuck alone in his cell.
> 
> Thanks again to lilacmermaid for her support. .-)

**Day 16**

By the sixteenth day of prison Will had settled into the daily routine – Wake up call at 06:00 a.m., taking a shower, eating his – not very good – breakfast, then waiting for lunch and then again for dinner. Interrupted only by the 20 minutes he was allowed to spend in the courtyard every day – alone - and the occasional visitor.

The whole day stretched out in front of him like honey slowly running from a spoon.

10:34 in the morning and he already felt like he'd been awake for a whole day.

He was lonely.

He didn't like to admit it but obviously he had been wrong. How could he have ever thought he was too big a celebrity to be charged with contempt?  
Mac had tried to warn him but he didn't listen, so all of this was his own fault. Still, he didn't regret it because otherwise Neal would be in his place, and though he was talking tough he knew he wasn't. Neal wouldn't have been put in solitary confinement and who knows what would have happened to him in here...

He had been lonely before – As a little boy when he had to protect his mother, his sisters and brother from his drunken father and of course during those long, dark years MacKenzie had been away. Inside he had still been lonely after she returned because for a long time he couldn't even admit his feelings for her to himself. And even after that he had fought them for more than another year...  
Oh, he could still kick himself for not figuring it all out sooner...

Back in those days he had always thought he didn't mind being alone, but this was different. Before he mostly _chose_ to be on his own; he had always had the option to call somebody, go on a date, catch a movie or broadway play. Now he was cut off from his friends and family and depended on guards exchanging a few words with him. And this left him alone with his own thoughts far too much...

Mac, Charlie and Rebecca were his only regular visitors; the latter two about once a week, his wife about two or three times a week, but mostly on the weekends. Mac had told him that Sloan, Elliot and Don wanted to come see him soon, but they hadn't so far.

Still a little more than an hour to go before visiting hours would start at 1 p.m., but he didn't expect anybody to come for him today. With their working hours they could also probably only come by on the weekends.

During every one of her visits so far Mac had asked him how he was doing and he had lied to her, said that everything was fine and not to worry. He had even pretended to take this time as a much needed vacation with lots of sleep and catching up on some reading, but though she never said anything he knew that she didn't believe him. Though it had been at least partly true in the beginning, when he thought his imprisonment would only be a matter of a few days.

Habib - it's Wednesday, normally he would have seen him today - would probably ask him why he didn't tell her the truth. Was it pride? Shame? Didn't he still completely trust her?  
Bullshit, he trusted her with his life and that even before they had finally sorted out all their problems. He simply knew that this whole situation was hard enough for her and he didn't want to pile on. Though she probably would insist he did.

God, how he missed Mac.. Naturally he missed the physical part of their relationship and he had spent hours thinking about making love to her; in their bed, in the shower, on the kitchen counter...Even in their offices, although they had always followed a strict 'no display of affection at work' policy. Well, almost always... They didn't restrain themselves completely from brushing their hands, the occasional peck in one of their offices or walking out at night with his arm around her shoulders.  
But now... Sometimes he almost felt her skin under his fingers and her little kisses on his neck...

And how he relished thinking about this one special night before their wedding...  
He was sure he would never ever forget these hours in his entire life, he had never experienced anything like it before...  
Their sex life had always been fantastic, already the first time they were together. But now, with their personal problems being solved, being secure in their relationship and not knowing what the next day would bring, that night had been about more than just passionate, mindblowing sex - Their souls had opened up and connected so deeply that he still felt a part of MacKenzie's was inside of his own...

But even more he missed their talks, her laughter, the banter. He missed their ever so light touches, just reassuring each other throughout the day. He missed her voice, her smile and even her fiery looks when she was angry with him. He missed just being around her, he missed their discussions and fights just as much as their lazy late nights cuddled up in front of the tv or in bed. And he really missed playing the guitar and singing to her at night.

Oh yes, he missed his guitar; his constant companion since he had been about 10 years old. His first guitar was actually the only good thing he ever got from his father. He had never said how or why he got it but one night he came home and just gave it to his oldest son. Will had taught himself to play and it became an escape for him, although he did get the occasional resounding slap while playing it when his father felt disturbed by the noise...

Yes, he would love to have his guitar here right now to comfort him, play a little jailhouse rock... But given the choice he would gladly give up the music for good to just be able to go home and be with his wife again.

His wife... He loved the sound of these words, though the wedding still seemed pretty unreal to him. After all he hadn't really been able to enjoy the perks that came along with it, but at least he knew what was waiting for him outside. Jesus, how he looked forward to their married life!  
He had to ask Mac during her next visit where she wanted to go on their honeymoon; that would give him – and her – something to look forward to...

How he would have loved to take her to Nebraska to meet his father. To show him what magnificent woman had fallen in love with his measly little son...  
He would never think of Mac, his beautiful, smart, strong, confident and independent MacKenzie, as a trophy wife, but to his father he would have presented her as one. Just to impress him and to shove it up his ass that his son wasn't the loser he had always told him he was.  
But then he – no, _she_ \- would have shown him what a remarkable woman she is. This petty excuse of a man who all of his life was too much a coward to accept a woman as an equal but needed to make himself feel better by having his wife live in constant fear of being abused by him again...  
But no, he had to stop going down that road. He couldn't go there, not yet...

Mac... He should rather think about Mac...

04:05 p.m. Right now she was probably in the last rundown meeting with Jim, Maggie, Kendra, Gary, Tess, Martin... Good kids, all of them. They were so green, when they started three years ago – okay, all of them but Jim – and it was amazing what Mac had been able to teach them in this short period of time.

He was fairly sure but still could only hope that they all gave Mac the extra assistance she needed while carrying more than her normal work load with him being gone and Pruit being such a prick... Not to speak of their moral support.

It had been wonderful seeing her on Sunday, but she had looked tired and weary. She had insisted she was fine, but he was quite certain she just wanted to keep him from worrying about her, just like he had told her his little white lies...

 _Were_ they still white lies and therefore alright or was he supposed to tell her how he really felt? What was more important right now in their relationship – honesty or protection?  
He didn't know, but as long as he couldn't physically comfort her except for a few hugs and kisses during her short visits he at least had to try and keep her spirits up. If he couldn't do that then he himself would go insane in here...

He was glad she had Charlie she could go and talk to whenever she needed to, though he wasn't sure if she would... She had never liked to appear weak and needy, espcecially at work. But he knew she didn't see Charlie as just her boss but also considered him a friend, so he hoped she would open up to him...

Charlie really deserved this bourbon he was talking about. Heck, not just one bottle but a lifetime supply! Okay, maybe only one case a year or he wouldn't be around much longer and Nancy would bite his head off... But everything came down to the fact that it was Charlie who had brought Mac back into his life and he would _never_ be able to repay him for that. He didn't even want to imagine what kind of grouchy and miserable SOB he would still be if Mac hadn't come back into his life...

Mac... His beautiful, funny and caring Mac...  
04:49 p.m. The rundown meeting was probably over by now. What would she be doing? Maybe meeting with the graphics guys? Assigning the teams to work on the different stories that they were running this evening? Following up on leads or sources? Staff evaluations? Or fighting Pruit again for one of his ideas?

07:23 p.m. Every night around this time he felt himself getting itchy, wanting nothing more than to change into one of his suits and report the news. He knew Sloan was a stand-in as good as he could have, but still... _Newsnight_ was _his_ show. It wasn't just a job, especially since Mac had returned and made him start his mission to civilize.

He wanted to be involved in choosing the stories they'd report an, not _be_ the story. He wanted to be back behind his anchor desk and get the important news out to the country. He wanted to be pushed by Mac's commanding voice in his ear; she just knew how to get the best out of him, always had. He still shuddered thinking about what had become of him during the time she was gone...

09:01 p.m. The show was over.  
He was hoping Mac would take a little time to enjoy herself, maybe go to Hang Chew's with the team or meet with Sloan and have her distract her with stories about her and Don or even an economics lecture she wouldn't understand a word of... Which Sloan knew, so Mac wouldn't even have to pretend but could just let go...

Sloan really was a good friend and he was so glad Mac had her with her right now. Though she did sometimes act like a social klutz she was warm and caring and fiercly defensive of her friends.  
He knew she had thought he was an ass in the beginning and now they had this wonderful big brother-little sister relationship... He still couldn't believe she gave him that lecture on his state of mind, the hole in his heart and goldilocks planets.

But she had been right, there _is_ only one planet in all of space that's perfect for him. And he found it and had conquered all obstacles in its way to make it his.

Mac.


	6. Day 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one of the 52 days, this time it's Mac's turn – With many thanks to lilacmermaid for her support. :-)

**Day 21**

Three weeks. Three weeks already and no sign that Will would be released from prison soon.

Three weeks that Sloan had been sitting at the anchor desk and she had been in her ear instead of Will's.

Three weeks that she had been married but hadn't spent a single day or night with her husband. Only a few, much too short moments during visiting hours.

Three weeks in which she had gone home alone and faced their lonely apartment.  
And now she was home again after another long Monday at work with another long week ahead of her where she probably wouldn't be able to see Willl.

This was different than in the past, harder, although the time spent without him was much shorter. She refused to think _'so far'_ , but no, they couldn't and wouldn't keep Will in jail for months or even years...

When she hadn't seen Will for three years after their breakup Mac had mostly taken it as a well-deserved punishment, and she had been longing for him every second of every day.

The first weeks away from him had been especially hard with everything that had happened being fresh on her mind and her thoughts had constantly revolved around Will and how she had fucked everything up.  
After that it got a _little_ bit easier, partly because of the work routines and especially the ever present danger of being in a warzone. She simply couldn't afford to always think about him if she wanted to survive, although sometimes she wasn't even sure if that was what she really wanted...  
But in the end not receiving any replies to her e-mails she had written to Will had made it clear to her that she couldn't just hope and wait for his forgiveness. She had to try to build a life for herself, on her own.

She had seemed to manage fairly well on the surface, but she had never forgotten what could have been. And that it had all been her fault, so she had never allowed herself to complain.

Seeing Will again at Northwestern then only confirmed what she had known already anyway:  
Three years without Will hadn't changed her feelings for him at all. She loved him and she knew that this would never go away.  
So after a lot of internal arguing with herself she had accepted Charlie's job offer, knowing that working with Will wouldn't be easy, but at least she could be near him again and be part of his professional life. And she could try to turn him back into the newsman she knew he could be. Even if she hadn't been already certain of that before he would have proven it with his words that evening.

She had been right, Will had still been hurting and dealt out punishments like other people Halloween candy – or so it felt. If it hadn't been for the occasional glimmer of hope like the hug on Valentine's Day, the revealing stare at the pub during _that_ song, a sweet remark here and there _(„Nobody in his right mind would risk losing you.")_ and the voicemail, which she _knew_ had to have contained something very important, she might not have had the perseverance to stay at her job and to stay around him for that long.  
But just being able to see and talk to him almost every day had been enough for then and she had almost never lost hope that it somehow _could_ work out – up until right to the end when he had fired her, and then it miraculously did anyhow.

The months following their engagement had been hell at work but privately mostly a bliss.  
Since that night they had spent every possible moment together - fighting for their show, catching up on everything that had happened during their time apart, working through their problems which certainly hadn't just disappeared with the proposal and planning their future. Not to speak of indulging in lots of making out and fantastic sex.

But the sex wasn't even what she missed the most. She had spent years without and though she wished she didn't have to she also had no problem waiting until he got out. (But then... Oh yeah...!) What she missed was just being with him, talking to him, looking at him. Just _being able_ to hold him, kiss him and have him close to her at night, to snuggle up. Just knowing that he was _there_.

She had put up pictures of him in every room, held the t-shirt he had worn last close at night and slept on his side of the bed – although one could hardly speak of sleeping. Most of the past three weeks she had been tossing and turning at night with only short interruptions of actual sleep and it was more than just beginning to show.  
She had never needed much sleep but now she was even paler than normal with bags under her eyes and dark shadows around them. Not even her make-up could hide that completely, and she knew that Will was worried about her.

Mac sighed. She was lying on the couch she had gotten out of storage the other day, along with some other pieces of furniture for the living room that she had finished renovating.  
Her eyes gazed at the bottles of alcohol lined up on the kitchen counter she could see from here. She was longing for a drink to help her go to sleep and forget... No, that was the wrong word, she didn't want to forget about Will, she just wanted it to be _easier_...  
But after she had spent the first few nights of Will's incarceration drowning her sorrows with alcohol – starting with her wedding night at Sloan's place - followed by the unavoidable hangover the next mornings, she had decided not to drink anymore until Will was home.

She well remembered the time before she came back to ACN when she had started drinking in the morning and spent most of her time in a bowling alley until Charlie had found her. She didn't dare think about what might had become of her if it hadn't been for him.  
She knew she wasn't alone this time, having her friends and work, and she was more than thankful for it, but she didn't want to risk going down this road again. She wanted to hold on to the future that lay ahead of them instead.

Only yesterday Will had asked her where she would like to go on their honeymoon after he was released and they had spent almost her entire visit weighing the pros and cons of two weeks on a secluded tropical island, visiting Paris, Venice or Vienna or – that was Will's suggestion – renting a motorhome and driving to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. Though she was fairly sure he had only thrown that in for the sake of the argument.

She missed arguing with him and even the fighting. It had always been a vital part of their relationship, a stimulus that only drove them to do better. And now that they finally had the possibility of make up sex again she had started to look forward to it even more.

During their long talks over the last months Will and she had realized that in the past one of their biggest problems had been the lack of communication between them. Not in regard of every day conversations and discussions at work but talking about their feelings and fears.  
If she had told Will about Brian after he had contacted her again she maybe wouldn't have felt the need to still prove herself to her ex. And if Will had opened up to her after her return sooner; if they had talked about about his mixed up feelings and if he had told her about the content of the voicemail message earlier, they maybe wouldn't have wasted another eighteen months or even the whole three years.

So one of their most important promises to each other after their reconciliation had been that they would talk about everything with complete honesty; no secrets.  
And this made the current situation hurt so much more because she just couldn't tell him about how she really felt inside about their forced separation. Not if she didn't want to make it even more difficult for him, which she most certainly did not, and she was quite sure that Will was in the same predicament.  
But she had vowed to herself that they would catch up on all of this once he was back home. She would never let anything get in between them again and this situation was far too important for both of them to be downplayed or ignored.

And exactly _that_ was what made it so much harder this time.  
After such a long time they were finally both on the same page and wanted the same, wanted to be together without any reservations, but were forced to be apart by circumstances they couldn't control.

Well, technically speaking they did control it; they would only have to name the source. But Molly had been right – She would never ask Will to give it up. She _would_ however gladly switch roles and go to jail herself by revealing that she also knew who it was, but Will had made her promise to keep quiet and she would never betray him again.

She knew Reese had at least been partly right when he said that Will went to jail for her. To make her proud of him and, after he had learned that she had met the whistleblower herself, also to protect her. But she was certain that the man he was today would also have done it just to fight for one of the most important journalistic principles.  
Whatever the reason: She _was_ damn proud of him.

Past 2 a.m. already. This seemed to be another one of those restless nights.  
She dreaded going into their lonely bedroom, but she knew that she needed to sleep. And she _wanted_ to sleep because that would actually put her mind to rest for a few hours.  
How she missed having Will next to her to cuddle up to, being safely in his arms and feeling his breath in her neck when spooned by him, wishing her a good night.

And then it suddenly hit her. She jumped up from the couch and ran into the future office, which for now was filled with boxes and other things which would later be moved into different rooms of the apartment.

She had been rummaging through several boxes when she finally found Will's CD collection.  
Sometimes he would play the guitar and sing to her before going to bed and once he told her about this singer, whom many people had assured him he almost sounded alike. So he had gotten one of his albums but didn't really agree with this assessment, while Mac had thought he came pretty close.

She also liked the songs, and every time Will sang a romantic, very personal song the artist had written for his wife he replaced her name with _'Kenzie'_ , which just made her heart melt every single time.

Will hadn't sung the song for her since they had been back together and she honestly hadn't even thought about it, but maybe it could help her now.

Finally she found the CD she was looking for and went back to the living room, where she put it into the player. She lay back on the couch and there was the voice... When she closed her eyes she could almost believe it was Will singing to her. People were right, there was an uncanny resemblance between their voices and she almost immediately felt herself relax.

Maybe she would finally get some sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :-)
> 
> „ _That song_ " is naturally _„You are always on my mind"_ by Willie Nelson from season 2, episode 2 (The Genoa Tip)
> 
> The song where Will substitutes the name with _Kenzie_ is the song „ _Kathy_ " which Jeff Daniels wrote for his wife. Naturally he is also the artist Will supposingly sounds alike... ;-)  
> Album: Jeff Daniels, „Live And Unplugged To Benefit The Purple Rose Theater"


	7. Day 25

**Day 25**

„Sloan, what the hell are you doing? Get in there, don't let him get away with that bullshit!“ Mac almost shouted at her through the microphone.

They were in the middle of a segment on the Arms Trade Treaty which was heavily opposed by the NRA but expected to be signed by President Obama in the near future.

Sloan was in a satellite interview with a spokesperson of the NRA and was supposed to lead it up to the point where it became clear that their standard argument against any proposed law on gun regulation – it would supposedly threaten the rights of American gun owners – which had been brought up like an automatism just as every time anything gun related was on the political agenda, would not apply to the ATT which was intended to solely deal with international arms trade between governments.

An interview like this was journalism 1.0 and should be no problem for an experienced anchor like Sloan: Ask for the reason for condemning the treaty, state its real purpose and wait how the NRA official reacts to that - slam dunk.

However, Sloan seemed to be completely off track tonight.  
She had already missed her cue after a commercial break so that there had been a 4 second on-air silence before Mac had been able to get her to start the next segment. And now she simply accepted all the interviewee's answers and didn't question a single thing.

Despite the fact that the answers given just begged for a detailed follow up, this segment would be much too short to fill the B block if Sloan didn't shift up a gear.  
As a precaution Mac had already told Jim to be prepared to move up the first story from the C block. Also they had made sure that one of the stories that had been cut during the final rundown meeting, a short report on an interview with Ann Romney on ABC that morning, stating that she and her husband would be very partial to Paul Ryan as the Republican candidate for the Presidency in 2016, was ready to be aired at the end of _Newsnight_ if necessary.

Luckily Sloan managed to at least partly get her act together so that the show didn't end in a complete desaster, but after the show Mac furiously went up to her office to have a word with her, already starting to speak the moment she walked through the door.

„Goddammit, Sloan, what was the matter with you tonight? You not only messed up the NRA interview but...“ Mac stopped her rant when she saw her friend slumped in her chair behind her desk. „Sloan? Are you alright?“

She carefully stepped around the desk and put her hand on Sloan's shoulder. „What's wrong? Did anything happen?“

Sloan shrugged, but didn't look at her and said quietly „I'm sorry about messing up the show tonight, Mac.“

Worried about her friend Mac dismissed her anger for now. „We can talk about that later. What's the matter with you?“

Finally Sloan looked up and took a deep breath. „Grayson called right before the show...“

„Grayson?“ Mac was confused, but then she remembered. “Wait, as in your ex-fiancé Grayson? What did he want?“

„He's moved back to New York a few weeks ago and he wants to meet me.“ Sloan mumbled.

Mac leaned against the desk and looked at her intently. „And you told him to fuck off, right?“  
When she didn't get an answer she intensified her stare, trying to read the answer in the economist's eyes. „Oh my God, you're thinking about it...“

They both stayed silent for a moment, before Mac moved from the desk and went to collect Sloan's coat and purse from the coat rack.  
„Get up, we're going.“

„Where...?“

„I'm taking you home, it's Friday anyway. Looks like it's my turn to take care of you tonight.“ Sloan hesitated for a second, but then she slowly got up.

„I can't speak to Don right now. You'll have to make sure that he's not in the bullpen.“

„Yeah... He has to get ready to get Elliot on the air, you won't see him. Come on.“ With this she pulled Sloan out of the room and then continued down the stairs to her own office to summon a car and grab her things, including her duffle bag with a change of clothes.

When they arrived in the lobby the AWM car, which Charlie insisted she'd use for now to protect her from paparazzi looking for a story on her and Will, was already waiting, and Mac gave the driver Sloan's address.

They both were quiet during the ride and in the elevator going up to Sloan's place. When they entered the apartment Mac sent Sloan, who was still wearing her clothes from the show, to get changed while she ordered some Italian food and looked for a bottle of wine in the kitchen. She was still sticking to her resolution not to drink, but tonight she would make an exception and pour herself half a glass to keep Sloan company.

When Sloan came back, now dressed in yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt, Mac motioned her to sit next to her on the couch, sitting slightly sideways to face her.

„Okay, here's some wine and now tell me from the beginning.“

Sloan shrugged, pulled her legs up and snugged her arms around them. „There's not much to tell. Apparently he was transfered back to the New York office a while ago. He said he'd missed me and wants to meet.“

„What did you say?“

„I told him that I'd have to think about it...“

Mac shook her head and briefly closed her eyes. „Are you thinking about it as in thinking about it or are you thinking about it as in considering it?“

„I honestly don't know, Kenzie... It's all just a complete mess up here right now“ She pressed her head in between her knees and cupped her hands on top of it, pushing it down even further.

Mac didn't say anything for a while before she sighed. „Sloan, you know I'm your friend and I will support you in everything you decide to do. But please... Don't make the same mistake I did...“ She looked over to her but Sloan still hid her face. „What about Don? You've been together for almost 7 months now.“

At this Sloan looked up again. „You had been with Will for a year when you saw Brian again...“

„No, I wasn't.“

„That's what you told me at the bar one night.“

„Well, if I did I either had way too much to drink at that point or was preoccupied with something else. I hadn't _seen_ Brian for about a year then, but I had only been with Will for about 6 weeks... Back then I hadn't realized that I had fallen in love with Will, otherwise I would have never even considered going back to Brian. But you... You love Don, don't you?“

„Yeah, I do...“ Sloan confirmed with a smile before turning serious again. „But still... There's always this nagging feeling about why Grayson did it. At that time I'd really thought he was the one, I'd thought it was real!“

Mac felt a chill running down her spine and decided to up the ante.  
„I've never met Grayson, but from what you told me he was an egotistical, arrogant and narcissistic jackass. How long has it been since you caught him cheating on you with your bridesmaid? Six years? Seven years?“

„Six.“ She could barely understand Sloan's mumbling.

„Six years... And has he ever contacted you before today? Did he ever have the decency to apologize to you? Did he ever say anything remotely close to missing you or wanting you back previously?“ She paused. „Sloan, if he's just moved back here, don't you think he might just be looking for a fuck buddy?“

„I'm not planning on sleeping with Grayson!“ Sloan gave back indignantly.

Mac couldn't help a sarcastic laugh. „Neither did I at first, believe me... It just happened... I was still hung up on Brian for rejecting me and wanted to show him what he had lost, what a fucking mistake he had made... And then one thing lead to another...“

Sloan looked up from her glass. „I'm sorry, Kenzie, I didn't mean to bring all those old memories back to the surface...“

„It's okay.“ Mac assured her. „It's not that I like to think about it, but Will and I have talked about it and we're fine now... But you know what happened to us and it easily could have ended with us never finding our way back together...“ She contemplated. „You know... But you need to keep this to yourself, promise?“ Sloan nodded and she continued.  
„On election night... Two hours before Will proposed he had fired me... I had baited him to do it, but still...“ Sloan's eyes went big. „And half an hour after that we had a huge fight in the hair and make-up room. When I walked out of there I was convinced I would never see Will again after that night... And if he hadn't had his change of heart I probably wouldn't have... So _please_ , don't risk what you have with Don over that jerk Grayson...“

„Don doesn't even have to know... I just want to know 'why'... get some closure... I thought at least _you_ would understand that?“ Sloan's eyes pleaded to Mac, who couldn't hide her smile.

„Sloan, you're such a ridiculously honest person – There is _no way_ you can keep something like this from Don. And yes, I do understand, but I also know what it can cost you. You have to decide if knowing is worth the risk...“

Sloan swallowed and looked at her. „Would you do it again? With what you know today?“

The answer came immediately and was very determined. „ _Definitely not._ Will and I have lost six years of our life together and we could have lost each other forever. _Nothing_ is worth that risk if you are sure Don is the one for you...“ Mac paused for a moment before she continued.  
„I know Don isn't Will, but I do know that for a long time he thought he wasn't good enough for you, wasn't playing in your league. If you're going to secretly meet with Grayson and Don finds out, I don't know what he'll do...“

Sloan thought about these words and sighed. „You're probably right...“

Mac placed her hands on her friend's shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. „You're happy with Don?“

„Yeah...“ Sloan smiled dreamily.

„Did you ever think about Grayson before his call tonight? I mean, not right after it happened, but later?“

Shaking her head Sloan groaned. „No, not really. Definitely not since I've been with Don... Except for some comparisons, which by the way all ended up in favour of Don...“ She smirked.

Mac grinned back and kept her eyes on Sloan. „Okay... So do you think it would be worth it to meet him and risk everything? As much as he has hurt you, maybe all these years later you can take Grayson cheating on you as a last minute sign that he hasn't been the right one for you? In the end it probably did save you from even more pain, marrying a cheating bonehead...“

At this moment the door bell rang and Mac got up to get the food. „Just think about it, okay?“

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After a long night with much more talking and two bottles of wine Sloan had almost emptied on her own Mac rose early and left a note that she had gone to see Will in prison but would call her later.

When Will entered the visiting room he was surprised to see his wife and gave her a wide smile. „What are you doing here, Mac?“ He quickly stepped towards her and pulled her into his arms. „Didn't you say you would come tomorrow?“

„I did.“ Mac sighed into his chest. „But after the day I had yesterday I needed to see and hold you...“

Will pulled back to look at her. „What happened?“

„In a minute, just kiss me first?“  
There was nothing Will wanted more, so he quickly put his hands on her cheeks and covered her lips with his own.

The kiss started out slowly, but when Mac pressed her hips against him and let her hands slide into his hair he groaned deeply and let his tongue slide inside her mouth. Running it against hers one of his hands moved down and sneaked under her blouse to touch the skin in the small of her back, causing her to moan and clench her fingers in his hair.

Finally Will broke the kiss and panting for breath he rested his forehead against hers. „God, I miss you...“

„ I know... Same here...“ Mac murmered, also breathing heavily. „It's not getting easier, is it?“  
Knowing this was just a rhetorical question Will just hummed in agreement. Then he took Mac's hand and pulled her over to the chairs. „So, what happened?“

She sighed and quickly let him in on yesterday's show and what Sloan had told her afterwards.  
„Fuck!“ Will cursed. „I was hoping she'd never hear from that asshole again. How is she doing?“

I haven't seen her this morning, she had a little too much wine last night. But before we went to bed she said she probably wouldn't meet him, so I hope she's not going to change her mind again. It's just...“ She took a deep breath. „It hit a little too close to home, you know? That's why I needed to see you...“

„I understand, Mac...“ He pulled her to his chest again and pressed a kiss into her hair. „I'm definitely not complaining about seeing you... But you know that we're good, right? There's nothing to worry about.“

Mac nodded and held him tighter. „I know, it just came all up again so unexpectedly last night and I guess I just needed some reassurance. I was trying so very much not to think about it anymore...“

„You know what?“ Will asked her with a hint of surprise in his voice.

„What?“

„I can honestly say I haven't thought about it once since I've been in here. And believe me, there's _lots_ of time to think... Looks like I'm really one hundred percent over it, just in case you were wondering. So why don't you stop thinking about it, too?“

Mac sat up and looked at him with tears in her eyes. „Oh, Billy...“ She cupped his cheek and kissed him softly. „I love you so much... I don't even want to think about where we'd both be if you hadn't proposed that night...“

„I know...“ Will smiled. He just managed to gently trace her eyebrow with his fingertips before Mac wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck. And that's where she stayed until the guard came to call Will back to his cell.


	8. Day 33

 

**Day 33**

Bracing herself against the bathroom sink and looking into the mirror Mac sighed. It was Saturday morning and she was about to head out for another visit to prison, but today was the first time she was torn and actually didn't really feel like going at all.

As much as she missed Will, more and more with every new day, right now she didn't think she was capable of sitting through another hour of pretending everything was fine, that _she_ was fine.

It wasn't like she had to feign to be happy to see him, on the contrary, these visits were the highlights of her week. But everything else was getting harder the longer she was alone, and she knew she mustn't burden him with it.

She looked at her image in the mirror. At least the last nights, since she had remembered Will's music collection, she had slept a little better, and the bags underneath her eyes weren't quite so bad anymore. Still she put on a little more make-up than ususal to keep Will from worrying.

With a sigh and a final exercise in sporting a happy smile Mac turned around and left the bathroom. Gathering her coat, purse and the small package which mostly contained more reading material she had prepared for Will, she grabbed her keys and exited the apartment.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

On arrival in the visitation room she had a few minutes before Will got there and used the time to put on her game face. When the door on the opposite side of the room openened she was practically beaming and quickly went over for a kiss and hug.

„Hey, Honey, I'm glad you're here.“ Will pressed his fingers into Mac's back and hair and held her tight, deeply inhaling her scent.

„Me, too.“ She mumbled into his neck, hanging on to her husband and not letting him go. Stroking her hands up and down his back she sighed and only buried herself deeper into him.

When even after a few minutes she didn't show any sign of wanting to end the embrace, Will started to wonder. Not that they normally didn't enjoy the physical closeness possible when she came for a visit, but today she was unusually clingy. „Are you okay, Mac?“

„Mmmh... I just want to hold you for a while...“ While answering she grabbed his prison shirt with her hands as if she was afraid he would start to move away from her.

„Yeah, it's nice...“ He sighed in return and placed a soft kiss on the side of her head. A couple minutes later though he did back away a little and winked at her. „Not that I don't love having you in my arms, but I like to look at you, too, you know...?“

Mac grinned. „Well, you do have my picture in your cell, unless you've traded it for a pack of cigarettes from a fellow inmate?“

„You know what? I would actually do that, but nobody in here can afford it...“ Will leered at her with a sparkle in his eyes. „Can't give it up for just a single pack of smokes, can I?“

Laughing out loud Mac took Will's hand and pulled him over to the table in the middle of the room, as always sitting down next to him to be able to lean into his side. Snuggling into him she took his hand in hers and absently started playing with his fingers, again caught in silence.

„Mac, are you sure you're alright? You're normally not this quiet.“

„I'm fine, Billy... I just miss you, but that's no news.“'

„Mmmh...“ Will didn't say anything for a moment and Mac could almost hear him think. „Why don't we talk?“

„About what?“

„About what's bothering you?“

Mac tensed against him. „Will... I just told you, everything's fine.“

„And I'm very sure it isn't.“ He took his arm from her shoulder, removing his hand from hers in the process, and sat up, forcing her to straighten herself up as well and look at him. „Mac, I can tell that you're hiding something. What is it?“

„Will, I _can't_...! Please?“

He didn't answer for a moment, but then he decided to try a different approach. „Remember what we have promised each other when we got engaged? That we would talk from now on? No more secrets, Mac... Or does it have anything to do with the source or another story you can't talk about?“

Mac sighed. „No, it's got nothing to do with work.“

„Aha!“ Will couldn't help a triumphant shout. „So there _is_ something you're not telling me! Spill it...“

Mac gave him an annoyed look. She knew that if she hadn't been so down already before coming here, he wouldn't have been able to trick her so easily. But if she was honest with herself she didn't even really mind, as at least part of her wanted to talk to him about her feelings. Most days she was guilt-stricken because she didn't tell him the truth, brooding over not keeping said promise she had given him, but maybe now was the time. Taking a deep breath she finally gave in.

„I've told you... I miss you... and more than I have let on. I know we promised each other to talk about everything; I just did't want to burden you even more and make it even harder for you in here. And now don't try to tell me off for that, it's not like you're talking about your feelings either...“

„Oh Mac... Nothing you do or say will ever be a burden to me, don't you know that?" Will put both arms around her and pulled her closer, tucking her head under his chin. „And yeah, I miss you, too. I miss you terribly, actually, and I can't wait to get out of here.“

„Me, too, Billy...“ Mac whispered. „It's been over a month now... _'Just a few days'_ my arse...“

„I know, I know... I'm so sorry, but I honestly didn't expect this to last so long...“ Will paused for a moment before going on. „So how do you really spend your days? Are you keeping yourself busy as you said?“

„I do, but that doesn't mean I don't miss you.“ Mac squeezed his hand. „At work everything reminds me of you; getting papers from your office, expecting an argument in the rundown meeting, being in Sloan's ear instead of yours... I'm thinking about you all day, and then when I get back home...“

She sighed. „I assume you suspected that I don't really sleep well?“ Will nodded and hummed into her ear. „Well, you're right, I hardly slept at all during the first weeks, but a while ago I thought about that Daniels CD, remember? The guy that sounds like you? I play his music when I go to bed now and thinking it's you singing to me helps me go to sleep...“

Will smiled into her hair. „When I'm home I will record a CD for you, all your favourite songs, okay?“

„You mean, just in case you're taking a prison vacation again one day?“ She gently nudged her ellbow into his side and Will's smile grew wider.

„Let's say, in case I have to go on an overnight business trip.“

„Good answer...“ Mac smiled. „But what about you, Billy? How are you really doing? I mean, I wasn't lying when I said that work and our friends are keeping me distracted, and you don't have any of that...“

Will placed another kiss on her temple. „I miss you so much, you know that. I'm thinking about you all the time; what you're doing, what's happening at work, how the rundown meeting is going, if Pruit is being a jackass again and how you're dealing with him... How you're feeling, how you cope with being alone in that big apartment... I just miss you, Mac...“

„Oh, Billy...“ Mac turned in his arms and pulled his head down for a comforting kiss. „I'm serious, don't worry about me, even if sometimes I'm a little blue... I'm glad we talked about it though, that will help us get through this; knowing that we're not alone in this... I just hope it's not going on forever...“

Will looked at her and didn't say anything for a long moment. Then she saw a shift in his eyes and felt that he had come to a decision. „Mac, do you want me to talk to Lasenthal? I will do it if you say you need me to come home...“

Mac stared at him, not believing her ears. „ _No!_ You're doing the fucking right thing here, Will, and I'm so proud of you.“ She quickly raised her hand and cupped his cheek. „I _really_ am, Billy. So don't you dare give up, just because I miss you and am moping around.“

„You have every right to.“ Will turned his head and pressed a kiss into the palm of her hand. „You're what's most important in my life, MacKenzie. I've been without you and I _never_ want to experience that again. So if you tell me you've got enough and want me to come home, then I will.“

Mac's eyes went soft and she gave him a loving smile, entangling her fingers with his. „ _Of course_ I want you to come home, Billy, but not like this. Definitely not like this, as much as I love you for even offering to do that for me... The first couple of days, maybe even the first week would be wonderful and then you would start to resent me, because I made you cave and give up the source.“

Will shook his head. „I could never resent you, MacKenzie, you know that.“

„If not me, then yourself. You're standing up for something you believe in, one of the most important journalistic principles. You owe it to yourself to see it through. Never mind me.“

Will looked at her for a minute before he smiled and leaned in for a lingering kiss. „Thank you, Mac. And I promise, once I'm out I'll make it up to you... Starting with the wedding night I still owe you.“

„I'm already looking forward to that...“ Mac murmered against his lips with a smile, relieved that finally there weren't any secrets between them anymore.

„Okay... Just promise me one thing?“

„Anything, Billy.“ She genuinely looked up at him.

„From now on talk to me?“

„You have my word.“

 

 


	9. Day 39

**Day 39**

The morning pitch meeting had just ended and everybody was leaving the conference room when Charlie entered the bullpen with a wide grin on his face and motioned Mac to follow him into her office.

„Go, get ready to meet Rebecca at the Detention Center in...“ He looked at his watch. „... 42 minutes.“

Mac's eyes went big and her face lit up. „Will's coming home? The FBI found the source?“

Charlie's expression faltered for a moment and he shook his head, but then the smile returned. „No, I'm sorry...The next best thing though: Genoa is over!“

„ _What?_ “ Mac couldn't believe her ears. „I didn't even know anything was scheduled for today!“

„The Grand Jury dismissed the charges brought against ACN as well as all personal charges against you, Will and me. It's not going to trial.“

Closing her eyes Mac drew a deep breath. „That is just wonderful! What happened?“

„Insufficient evidence – After hearing the depositions given by us, General Stomtonovic, Dantana etc. the Grand Jury decided Dantana didn't provide the evidence needed to prove any institutional failure, which officially means that Dantana was at fault and his being fired was fucking justified.“

Opening his arms Charlie grinned and Mac basically threw herself at him. For months now _Operation Genoa_ had been on her mind. Granted, pushed back a little during the last weeks with the mess Will had gotten himself into, but it had always been there, and she was still beating herself up that she hadn't caught on to Dantana's deception earlier.  
With these few words just now Charlie had lifted a terrible burden of her shoulders and for the first time since the discovery and the retraction of the story she felt like she could finally breathe properly again.

Pulling back from the hug a wide smile shown on her face which then turned into a light frown. „Why didn't you tell me it was today?“

Charlie shrugged. „You already have enough on your plate, you didn't have to worry about that as well. Besides, we couldn't have changed anything anyway.“

Mac looked at him for a moment. „We're gonna talk about that later... This is official? We can report on it tonight?“ Charlie nodded, so she continued with another huge smile. „Okay, let me tell Jim and have him prepare a segment, then I'll be ready.“

„I have Millie call you a car. Five minutes?“

„That should be fine, thanks. But you're not coming along?“

„I'd fucking love to, but I want to tell Leona and Reese as quickly as possible and I also have to report to Pruit, after all he did inherit this mess. Rebecca can answer all questions your prosecutor-husband will most definitely have. Tell Will I'll see him next week and let Jim know I'll be with him shortly for more details.“

„Okay... I can't wait to see Will's face when we tell him, I just wish we could celebrate together...“ Mac sighed which earned her a caring look from Charlie.

„I know, kiddo, me too... But now go, don't let Rebecca wait.“

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sitting in the back of the car Mac let her head rest against the seat. Genoa was over, she could hardly believe it.

Nothing anybody had said over the past months had convinced her that the whole affair hadn't been her fault, and she had been serious about resigning over it. When that wasn't accepted by Leona she had succesfully tried to lure Will into firing her, and if it hadn't been for his change of heart she would be God knows where by now and not being married to him.  
Still, even Will had never been able to persuade her that it hadn't been her very own responsibility to catch on to the flaws in the story and to Dantana's tempering with the raw footage of the Stomtonovic interview earlier.

She had been so sure that the whole matter would end up in court, the greater was her surprise now that it was officially over. However, as grateful as she was that she would not have to appear in in front of a judge and jury, she knew that for herself it wasn't finished yet.

She still had to come to terms with the fact that she had not lived up to her responsibility as executive producer. It was her job to make sure that what- and whoever going on the air was thoroughly vetted and scrutinized, and in this respect she had failed.  
She had not double checked the injuries of Gunnery Sgt. Sweeney and had just trusted his own words. She had posted leading questions during her interview with Lance Corporal Valenzuela. And she had trusted Dantana blindly while not listening to people she had known and relied on much longer, like Jim and Don, who'd had their doubts about the story.

But she knew, with the verdict of the Grand Jury the matter was at least officially closed now and the rest she could figure out by herself, in her own time. Hopefully growing from it and only becoming a better EP in the end. And at least the show and Will were safe.

The car was nearing it's intended destination when Mac's phone rang and seeing that it was Charlie she quickly answered. „Hey Charlie, what's up? I'm not there yet.“

While listening to him her eyes got bigger and bigger. „Are you _kidding_ me? How did you...? Wow... Sure I'm going to tell him, he'll be thrilled...! Yeah, what a day! Thanks, Charlie!“

Hanging up Mac unbelievingy shook her head. Really, what a day...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

On arrival at the Manhattan Detention Center Mac saw Rebecca already waiting. She quickly got out of the car and hurried over to meet her. „I'm sorry, Rebecca, have you been waiting long?“

„I just got here, don't worry. And even if not, Lee's paying for it.“ With a wink she opened the door and let Mac go in first. „Congratulations, MacKenzie, this is a good day for you.“

„Well, I guess you deserve the praise, you must have done a terrific job.“

„We didn't do too bad...“ Rebecca agreed with the self-confidence of a star attorney and followed Mac inside.

When Will entered the room they were waiting in he already started talking before he was through the door. „So what's the verdict, Rebecca?“  
Only then he saw Mac standing next to her and quickly went over for a kiss. „Hey, I didn't expect to see you today.“

She smiled and took his hand. „I know, but I wanted to be here when Rebecca tells you...“ With a nod she signaled the lawyer to take over.

„Well, congratulations Will, you're all officially off the hook!“

While squeezing Mac's hand Will closed his eyes and took a deep breath. „Thank God...!“ Then he looked at Mac and pulled her into his arms. „I told you not to worry, Honey, didn't I?“ he mumbled into her neck.

„Hmmm... You did, but seeing your reaction just now I'm not really sure if you believed it yourself...?“

Will pulled back. „You know I hate not being able to fight my own fights... And besides, you heard the saying _'Before the court and on the high seas, a man's fate lies in God's hands'_? No one can ever be completely certain how it will end...“

„Come here, Mr. Smartypants.“ With this Mac reached for her husband to give him a searing kiss which he more than willingly returned, until Rebecca audibly cleared her throat.

„Sorry...“ They both blushed a little while breaking apart, and Will quickly continued. „So, what happened?

„Well...“ Rebecca went to sit down at the table and the two followed suit, taking their seat on the opposite side. „As you know the Grand Jury convened today and...“  
As soon as their talk began and Rebecca and Will engaged in a lively conversation about today's events that was filled with legal jargon, Mac tuned out and let her thoughts roam while watching her husband.

She was so happy for Will that Genoa wouldn't remain a a dark spot on his career achievements. She knew that it would probably always be mentioned when somebody would talk about him, but now it would need to be followed by the legal acquittal.

But then Mac's thoughts focused on another point.  
Remembering the way Will had entered the room he had clearly been expecting to see Rebecca today. So he must have known that the Grand Jury had been scheduled for today but still he didn't tell her. Seeing that not even a week ago they had talked about not holding anything back she felt a sting. Apparently he still felt the need to protect her, which was sweet, but not what she wanted. However, she was not going to ruin this moment but filed this knowledge away for later; today was a time to celebrate.

After about ten minutes the two lawyers in the room wrapped up and Rebecca stood up, putting her papers back in the briefcase. „So, if you don't have any more questions I guess that was it for today. MacKenzie, are you coming with me?“

Mac shook her head. „No, thanks, I'll stay a little longer. Thank you for everything, Rebecca.“ She stood up and hugged her tightly before stepping back to stand next to Will who had also risen from his seat.

„Yes, thank you, Rebecca. You did a great job.“ He shook her hand and then put his arm around Mac's shoulders. As soon as they were alone he pulled her in for another hug. „I am so very happy for you, Mac. I know how much this affair still weighed on you. How are you feeling now?“

„Splendid, I just feel great, Billy.“ She sighed and just enjoyed their closeness for a moment, but then she could no longer keep quiet. „And I have more good news for you...“

„Oh?“ Will backed up a little to look at her. „What's that?“

Mac grinned. „Charlie called me on my way here. He had just received a call that you have been nominated for the Columbia Journalism Award. Congratulations, Honey!“

Will raised his eyebrows. „Wow... That's nice, but what the hell for?“

She gave him a preen smile. „I looked it up to get it completely right: _'The Columbia Journalism Award is given in recognition of exceptional journalistic performance and is presented annually to someone of overarching accomplishment and distinguished service to journalism.'_ I assume you fighting to protect your source and even going to jail for it, stepping up for all journalists in this country, is what got you this nomination...“ Mac tugged on lapels of his shirt to pull him down for a long, but gentle kiss. „I know I said it before but it's true: I am so fucking proud of you, Billy.“

Will smiled at her and took her into his arms again, kissing her forehead „You know what? That's the only thing that matters to me... Are you going to celebrate tonight?“

Burying her head in his chest she sighed. „I'm sure they'll all meet at Hang Chew's tonight. And they deserve it.“

He stayed quiet for a moment „Mac, you definitely deserve it, too. Promise me you'll go with them? I hate to think of you sitting home alone every night...“

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Fifteen minutes later Mac was on her ride back to the office. She had given Will her word to go out with the staff this evening and she was actually looking forward to it; it would be the first time since he went to jail.

Thinking back to her visit just now she remembered her disappointment that he again had kept something from her, but suddenly a sad grin showed on her face. She actually hadn't done any better by telling him that she was feeling simply great because Genoa wasn't going to trial. But hadn't she just told herself a mere hour ago on the way to prison that she still had to deal with the personal fallout and consequences and hadn't forgiven herself yet?

She shook her head. They both really were a sorry pair when it came to communicating with each other. They _really_ had to work on that...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Back at the office she dove right in again, approving the segment Jim had worked out on Genoa and then catching up on the rest of her work until the final rundown meeting.

The show that night went fine and afterwards the whole staff went to Hang Chew's, their favourite hangout. Cheers erupted when Mac opened a tab courtesy of Will and soon the lively chatter reflected the shiny mood everybody was in since the news of Genoa being officially off the table had broken earlier that day.

Mac leaned back in her seat and just enjoyed the company of this group of young, exceptional people.  
Even though Will couldn't be with her she was glad that she had them. They were her family, too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.)  
> I'm no legal expert and hope I was right to involve a Grand Jury in this.
> 
> 2.)  
> The Columbia Journalism Award actually exists and Mac's quote is taken from the website of the Columbia Journalism School: http://www.journalism.columbia.edu/page/9-journalism-awards/9


	10. Day 44

**Day 44**

  
„McAvoy! You've got a visitor!“ Taking the last step towards the latticed door of Will's cell the guard inserted the key into the lock und opened it.

Will quickly put the book he was reading aside and got up from his cot. He knew it was of no use to ask who had come to see him, so he just followed him to the visitor's area. Putting the hand on the door handle of the room assigned to him he turned around. „Thanks, Bob. Thirty minutes?“

„About.“ The guard confirmed. „Many people today, we might need the room.“

Will nodded. He knew that normally the guards tried to give him at least half an hour with a visitor, if not more, but on busy days that sometimes had to be cut short. Seeing that he had the privilege of getting a whole room for himself and therefore real privacy that other inmates and their visitors didn't have, he wasn't complaining about that, but it was helpful to at least have an idea how much time he was going to have with his family and friends.

Opening the door he saw Charlie waiting, who had been coming to see him at least once a week from the start, and quickly walked over to him for a short hug. „Good to see you, Charlie. Everything alright?“

„Fine. How are you?“

„Well, I cut my walk short this morning because of the rain and for lunch we had this extremely delicious meat loaf again, dry as a log ready to be thrown into the fire... But otherwise...“

Charlie smiled sympathetically. „How about once you're finally out of here Nancy and I'll take you and your wife out to dinner to celebrate?“

„We'll definitely take you up on that...“ Will returned the smile, but then turned serious. „How's Mac holding up?“

His boss didn't answer immediately and seemed to weigh his words carefully. „She's... good, I think... She doesn't really talk to me about herself, but this last week she has been looking better; she seems to get a little more sleep. The end of Genoa certainly helped with that. And her work's flawless, as always.“

Will sighed. „I feel so bad for her... That's not how I wanted to start off our marriage, maybe we should have waited until I'm out of here...“

Charlie smirked. „Mac seemed pretty determined to me on your wedding day, Will. I don't think you would have stood a fucking chance with that suggestion.“

„You're probably right.“ Will grinned, thinking back to the e-mail invitation Mac had sent out on the spot. „And at that moment it was what I wanted to do, but now...? She deserves better...“

His friend turned serious. „Will, it was exactly what Mac wanted, too, and believe me, she definitely hasn't regretted it for a single moment. Not only does she love you and didn't want to wait any longer, I think she was right: It's good for both of you to know what you can look forward to once you get to go home. _Home_ , Will...“

„Yeah...“ he smiled absently and it sounded like he was quietly talking to himself. „I really want to do that... Go home to MacKenzie...“

„And you will.“ Charlie assured him. „They can't hold you in here much longer, Rebecca is working on it.“

The only answer to that was another sigh. „I hope you're right, I promised Mac to make up for the party we missed, hopefully she doesn't have to wait too long.“ Suddenly Will smirked. „At least we don't have to sweat over the guest list anymore...“

„Good for you.“ Charlie grinned in return, while Will leaned back in his chair and looked down at his hands. When he looked up a moment later his face had turned serious.  
„Charlie, I don't know if I ever really thanked you for what you did for Mac and me... If you hadn't brought her back...“ he swallowed hard. „I don't know where we'd be now...“

Charlie winked. „You probably wouldn't be sitting here but be preparing a segment on the newest Hollywood blockbuster.“

„Probably...“ Will indulged him. „But you know what? If I had the choice I'd always choose this.“

„I know, son, and I'm fucking proud of you. As is the rest of ACN, even dayside, if you can believe that...“

Will smiled. „Still... _Thank you_ , Charlie. I will never be able to repay you, I know that.“ Seeing the nonplussed expression on his friend's face he decided to change the subject. „Any news from Neal?“

Charlie shook his head. „I haven't heard anything. But I'm not sure if some of the staff aren't in contact with him.“

„Hmmm, that's good... But we probably shouldn't be talking about him anyway... How are _you_ doing? You look tired, Charlie.“

This time it was Charlie's turn to sigh. „Pruit is getting to me, Will... Seriously, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore, what's going on with the news! What happened to old school journalism? Getting to the bottom of important stories? Rules and ethics? All Pruit wants is fucking ratings, ratings, ratings and that by making so-called news for teens and twentysomethings because they presumably generate more advertising profits than other age groups. I don't understand it anymore, Will... Why the fuck didn't he buy MTV or Nickelodeon if he wants kid's TV??“

Will shook his head. „I'm sorry I can't be there with you. I wish I could.“

„I know. But we all also know that what you are doing is much more important. You're fighting for the survival of quality journalism in the first place. If we can't protect our sources, journalism will go down the fucking drain. Who would ever come to us again with information on a possible story again?“

„I know, Charlie, that's why I'm here.“ Will agreed. „Still I wish I could be there by your side and fight for our show.“

„Will!“ Charlie said insistently. „It's not only about the show anymore. I'm trying everything to save your jobs! _I'm_ close enough to retirement and set for life, I don't care what happens to me, but you kids are young, you still have half your careers ahead of you.“

Will snorted. „Mac does, Jim, Elliot and Don do, but I certainly don't. I'm not _that_ much younger than you are... But I know what you mean, we're not just fighting for ourselves.“

„Right...We have to find a compromise, a balance between what we want to do and what Pruit tells us to do, or he will replace all of us...“ Charlie contemplated for a minute. „The two of us have come a long way, Will... As terrible as 9/11 was, and as sure as I am that I never want to experience anything even close to it again: I'm fucking grateful you have gotten the opportunity to show your extraordinary abilities as a news anchor on that day. You've done good things over the years, focussed on important issues which needed to be addressed.“

„Well, except for the three years Mac wasn't around to kick my ass...“

„Everybody needs a break once in a while.“ Charlie excused him generously. „But you do stand in a line with Murrow and Conkrite and we'll have to start making a fucking plan what to do once you're back. You can't waste your talent on the kind of news Pruit wants to see...“

„I'm pretty sure Mac wouldn't let me.“ Will winked. „But seriously, Charlie... Thanks for standing up for us and fighting the good fight.“

„That's what I do, son.“

„Yeah...“ Hearing Charlie call him 'son' Will hesitated for a moment but then decided to continue. „You do know that you've always been like a father to me, more than my own has ever been?“

His friend smiled. „And you're the son I've never had, but don't go all mushy on me now...“

Will rolled his eyes. „I won't, rest assured. But I did want to mention... Hell, I've got a lot of time to think in here, you know, and being a husband now myself and maybe, maybe even getting the chance to have a child one day, I've been starting to think about my father again. And I found that there is nothing, really not a single thing I learned from him that would help me with all that.“

Charlie looked at him for a moment. „You're gonna do fine, Will. You're _not_ your father...“

„How do I know that before I am in that situation myself? I'm not worried about Mac and me, we've lived together before. But being responsible for raising a child?“

The door behind Will was opened. „McAvoy, two minutes.“

„Thanks. Bob, I'll be right there.“ Will wanted to add something, but then stood up with Charlie following his lead.

„I'm serious, Will, you are _nothing_ like your father. I have seen you with Sophie when she was younger, remember? I see you with the kids of your newsroom every day, who see you as a father figure and would walk through fire for you. I've seen you help Maggie to get over what happened in Uganda. And above all: Don't forget that you're not alone in this, Mac is right by your side. As unlikely as it is in the first place, do you really think she would ever let you harm your child?“

Will let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. „Yeah... You're probably right... And I know that I've got you to thank for it... If you hadn't brought Mac back into my life...“

„Well, we've been through that already. Grant me half a dozen dances with your wife at the wedding reception and we'll call it even.“ Charlie grinned with a spark in his eyes.

„Deal!“ Will laughed. „But seriously: Thank you, Charlie... For everything.“

„Anytime. Oh, and listen, Will, if you're not out by then anyway I won't be able to see you next week, I'll have to go to Washington, but the week after that I'll be back. Take care.“

„You, too, Charlie. And give my love to Nancy.“

„Will do.“

After another short hug they both walked to their respective doors where the guard was already waiting for Will, who turned around once more before leaving the room.

„Charlie? Tell Rebecca to shift up gears? I'd _really_ like to go home...“

„You bet, son.“

 


	11. Day 47

**Day 47**

 

„Mac?“

„Oh, Molly... Hi, how are you?“ Mac leaned back in her chair and raised her free hand to pinch the bridge of her nose with her fingers. She was tired and welcomed this short break from her work. Like so often during the last weeks she was spending another Saturday in the office after having gone to see Will early in the morning.

Molly had been calling her regularly about once a week since Will had gone to jail to see how she was keeping up. In the beginning Mac had always been hoping that she called to tell that Will was being released, but she had quickly realized that even if that had been the case, it wouldn't have been Molly's place to tell her.

They weren't completely back to normal in regard of their friendship yet, but they both valued it too much to not try to work things out, and Mac appreciated Molly's efforts.

„I'm fine, thanks. Listen, Mac, I don't have much time. I've promised to let you know when I hear anything from my guys at Manhattan Detention...“ Mac tensed and sat up but didn't interrupt her friend. „I just had a call, apparently Will has been behaving a little strange these last days. He is a lot less communicative with the guards but talking to himself a lot...“

Mac didn't say anything at first but then took a deep breath. She had been worrying about something like this happening, after all she had heard stories about inmates in solitary who had literally started climbing the walls after only a few days, and Will was in there on his 47th day by now.  
„What is he saying, Molly?“

„Well, he is arguing with some imaginary person, so obviously my contact has only heard Will's responses to whatever the other is saying in his head, but one of the times he's heard him it seemed to have been about domestic battery and wives and 'strike three'. Will apparentely took a stand against the other one...“

Sighing MacKenzie closed her eyes and rested her head against the chair.

„Mac? Are you still there?“

„Yes...yes, I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me know, Molly. Any other news?“ Obviously she was hinting at whether Molly had heard anything that could give her any hope about Will coming home soon without blatantly asking.

„I'm sorry...“ Molly's voice conveyed her sympathy.

„It's okay. But thank you for telling me about Will, I really appreciate it.“

„I promised you.“

Mac could almost see her friend shrug through the phone and smiled. „Still, thank you.“

„Okay, I gotta go. Let me know if I can do anything to help.“

„I will, thanks. Talk to you later.“ After hanging up Mac placed the phone on the desk and got up to walk to the window. Looking outside she contemplated about what Molly had just told her.

The longer Will's time in prison had lasted the more worried she had become about his state of mind. Not that he had ever said anything during one of her visits, not even today; no, it was more what he had _not_ said.  
Even when they had agreed to talk about their feelings from now on all he had admitted to was that he missed her, but he had never mentioned anything else that was bothering him. And with all the time he had alone in his cell she knew that he was certainly brooding about many things – work, family, the past - theirs and his own - and what Molly had just told her confirmed her worst fears.

Will had never really talked to her about it, but she was fairly certain that he hadn't even begun to work through his father's death. And what Molly had just said about him seemed to indicate that he was dealing with it now that he had so much time to think. _Lasenthal be damned!_

Of course she knew that he needed to address the subject and the sooner the better, but not while he was alone, sitting in prison without any support.

Mac was tempted to go and see her husband immediately, but apart from the fact that she wasn't even sure if she could see him twice in one day, she was convinced that he wouldn't talk to her about what was bothering him so immensely.  
Hesitating for a moment she made a decision and went back to her desk to pick up the phone.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Will was on his way to the visiting room. As always the guard had not let him in on who had come to see him, but as Mac had already been there in the morning he was certain it was one of his colleagues; Don maybe, or Elliot. However, when he opened the door he stopped in surprise.

„What the hell are _you_ doing here?“ Frowning he was looking at Dr. Jacob Habib, his psychiatrist, who was standing on the other side of the room.

The doctor smiled at him. „You have missed your last appointments, and given the circumstances I thought I would come to see how you are doing. Quite an interesting experience, to be honest...“

Will slowly came closer. „Appointments my arse. You know as well as I do that we've only met sporadically during the last couple of years... Not that it isn't good to see a friendly face, but don't tell me that you have come here on your own accord... And I know that _I_ didn't summon you...“

Habib slightly bowed his head, confirming his suspicions. „You're right. We haven't seen each other in a while, but MacKenzie asked me to come and visit you. Would there be a reason for that?“

„You tell me, I'm sure she didn't just send you an invitation with my cell number...“ Will approached the middle of the room and sat down on his side of the table, gesturing for Habib to also take a seat.

„Seeing how long you are already in here she is worried about you. This isn't an everyday situation and she thought you might appreciate the possibility to talk.“

„What makes her think I don't talk to her?

„Do you?“

„Of course! She's my wife!“

Making a mental note about Will's defensiveness Habib smiled again. „Yes, I've heard, congratulations. I'm very happy that you and MacKenzie managed to sort it all out. I imagine that was not the way you had planned the wedding?“

„Good guess...“ Will replied dryly. „But yeah, I'm glad, too. Thank you.“

„Once you're out of here I would like to hear how it all happened, beginning with when and how you got engaged. But right now maybe you would rather like to talk about what is currently going on in your life?“ When Will didn't say anything he continued. „I assume you are not openly talking to MacKenzie about how you are doing, or she wouldn't have sent me here?“

Again not getting a response Habib finally sat down opposite of Will and decided to ease into the conversation. „So, how are you?“

„What do you think? I'm trapped in here instead of spending time with my wife and support her and my friends who are trying to save the integrity of our show.“

„That must be hard.“ Habib acknowledged sympathetically, seeing the obvious frustation in the other man. „Did you tell MacKenzie how you feel about it?“

„We talked about it, yeah...“ Noticing that Will's wasn't able to meet his eye the young doctor went for a follow up.

„Did you tell her in detail or did you just say that you are _'fine'_?“

A moment passed, but finally Will gave him an indirect answer to his question. „I don't want to burden her, she is already worried enough.“

Seeing his stubborn face Habib was secretely waiting for him to cross his arms in front of his chest like a pouting child.  
„Will, she is your wife and she loves you. Don't you think that she'll worry no matter what you are telling her? Probably even more so when she senses you are holding back?“

„She has enough to deal with on the outside. Me being here with no end in sight, the renovation of the new apartment, our new boss is making everybody's life a living hell, Sloan Sabbith has been acting up and needed to be set straight again... Mac has enough to cope with.“

Habib nodded. „Right, from a husband's point of view I can understand that, but professionally I cannot approve of you holding everything in. And as luck would have it, I'm here and would be happy to lend you an ear... How about it?“

„Luck, eh?“ Will snorted, but he was actually torn and shifted slightly in his chair.  
He had gotten used to deal with his feelings by himself when Mac and he had been separated, except for the occasional half drunk late night conversation with Charlie of course, which had mostly been rants about the unfaithfulness of women and one in particular. Being in prison now didn't make it hard to slip back into this pattern.

Even after Mac and he had promised each other to talk from now on only a couple weeks ago, he still hadn't opened up about himself completely, fully aware of the double standard he was exercising by expecting Mac to let him in. But now he did admit that he didn't really mind having Habib here with him, and once more he was amazed at how well Mac knew him and his needs. Maybe the young man could indeed help him to sort through the mess inside his head.

When the silence between them had lasted a couple minutes Habib decided to restart the conversation. „I know visits only last this long and we won't have a whole hour as we normally do. So how about we don't waste any time...? MacKenzie has told me that you're in solitary confinement. What does that mean exactly?“

Will sighed, as if that should be common knowledge. „It means that I have a cell of my own, eat in there and also don't have anybody sharing the yard exercise with me. I don't see anybody except my guards. One perk though is having a visiting room to ourselves, normally inmates have to share and there is no privacy...“

„But why did they put you in solitary? I thought that was only used for punishment or for child molesters or other inmates who need to be protected from their fellow prisoners?“

„I'm actually one of those... I put too many people away when I was a prosecutor, so it's for my own safety. I guess I can't complain about that.“

„Oh, right, I didn't think about that... It must be hard not having anybody to talk to most of the day.“

Will shrugged. „I'm not the party animal anyway. Once in a while a guard has a few minutes, and otherwise there are ways to stay busy...“

„Ah? What are those?“

„I read a lot. Luckily there is no limitation on the number of books and papers I'm allowed to have, so Mac usually brings some everytime she comes and takes the ones home I have already finished.“

„What else? You can't read all day?“

„During the first weeks I caught up on some sleep I lacked; it kind of felt like being on vacation, except for the food and the scenery that is. And sometimes I just need to get rid of some energy, so I exercise, sit-ups, push-ups, running in one spot...“

Habib nodded. „You actually look good, despite of all the stress this situation must bring with it. But you must also have a lot of time to think.“

„Of course.“ Although he wanted Habib's help Will was determined not to give anything up voluntarily, but his therapist knew him well enough to not let him get away with it.

„So what are you thinking about?“

„My wife. My work. My friends.“

„Anything else?“

Will looked at him for a while, but then he sighed before showing an amused smile. „Okay... How did she know?“

Habib's return smile was almost conspiratively. „I have no idea, but she said you might want to talk about your father...?“

His patient was quiet for a moment, but finally decided to go along with it for now. It probably wouldn't hurt to talk about it. „You know about the issues I had with my father... I have been thinking about him a lot recently.“

„Why is that?“

„I have a lot of time to think in here, as you said yourself.“

„Touché. But there are many things you can occupy yourself with; why is your father on your mind now? Because he has also been in prison?“

Will didn't answer for a while, but then he slowly started to speak. „I'm not sure. I have been thinking about him more frequently for a while now, but the last days it has become more... intense...“

„Why is that?“

Still reluctant Will finally admitted „I asked my sister to send me a picture of him...“

„Because...?

„I'm married.“

Habib didn't say anything but raised an eyebrow, waiting for a further explanation.

Will sighed. „I know I would never _physically_ hurt Mac. But I have done a fucking good job at punishing and hurting her emotionally for three years after she came back, so maybe there is something inside me that is more like my father than I would have thought... And what if we ever have kids, and I treat them just as he has handled us? I wanted to use this time in here to sort that out for myself...“

„And? Did it work?“

Will didn't reply for a moment, looking for a way to phrase his feelings, before he answered. „I thought I was doing fine, but a few days ago Charlie was here and we had a good talk. But seeing the contrast between my father and this man who is more like a father to me than the real one ever was just intensified everything... So I put the picture my sister has sent me up on the wall, and that kind of gives me the feeling he is there with me, in my cell... I don't really know why I did it, maybe so that I _have to_ deal with it and don't just push everything back into the farthest corner of my head again... I... I know it sounds crazy but I actually _see_ him in front of me and we _talk_...“

„Visualisation is a common practice and can be a powerful and helpful tool, Will, there is nothing to be ashamed of. What are you talking about with him?“

„...About how he treated my mother. Why he went to prison and it was still everybody else's fault. How he hated what I have made out of my life... Stuff like that...“

„Does it help you in dealing with your feelings towards him?“

Will shook his head. „Not really... I hate that I'm not able to tell him to his face what I think about him, and I hate myself for not having done it while he was still alive.“

„That's understandable, Will. But you won't be able to change it, so what you are doing now is the only way you have to deal with your anger towards him. And it's good that you are doing it... But you need to know that visualisation cannot only help us to deal with past memories, it can also help us to strengthen our resolve and confidence when we imagine a positive outcome of a situation before it actually happens.“

Seeing the confused look on Will's face he smiled.  
„Let me give you an example, please bear with me: One of my patients is a teenage girl with a strong inferiority complex. She is a smart, funny and caring girl, but at the same time she is overweight, shy, has no friends and her fellow students are making fun of her, because, just as kids are, none of them is looking behind the exterior. She's just not self-confident enough to make people see the real her.  
One day the school held a sports meeting, and the girls were supposed to show what they had learned on the balance beam. They had practiced it before in gym class, but now, during the meeting, the actual jump onto the beam was part of the exercise while before they could get on there any way they liked and only started their routine once they were standing on it.  
My client was horrified. She'd already hated the idea of doing this in front of an audience and had never tried to jump on the beam before. She was convinced that everybody else would just be waiting for her to fail, and that she'd be the laughing stock of the whole school once more.  
But then she remembered what I had told her about visualisation... She shut out everything else and concentrated on how she wanted to hop onto the beam. She imagined herself taking her position, using the spring board, landing on the beam and _staying on_ – over and over again. In the end hardly any girl from her class managed this exercise succesfully, but she did. She jumped onto the beam, landed on her feet and kept her balance, and everybody applauded her, even the kids that were always mocking her. It could have been pure coincidence, but she was convinced that it had been the visualisation that had helped her in this situation.“

Will frowned. „That's a nice story, but what does it have to do with me?“

„A lot, actually. When you go back to your cell I don't want you to solely deal with your father, but I want you to also start thinking about your future life with MacKenzie and maybe, as you have said, even a child. Imagine everyday situations like singing the baby a lullaby, bringing your kid to school, having a family breakfast – positive things - but also those that might have the potential to trigger something in you.  
Having an argument with your wife – but then you're making up. Your kid being too venturous on the jungle gym and falling down, although you have forbidden him to climb up there without supervision – and then you talking about it to him calmly and rationally. Think about situations like these and how you would resolve them. That will give you more confidence and at the same time it will help you to have played through scenes like that in your mind should you encounter them in reality.“

Will only looked at Habib warily, but did't say anything, so he went on.

„These are just tools to help you believe in yourself, Will, to help you sort through that chaos that your mind is in right now. But fact is: You _are_ thinking about the future, and completely on your own account, I might add. You are _worried_ about being like your father, that in itself is a positive sign. Do you think that your father ever stopped to think about whether what he was doing was right? If he was hurting you, physically or mentally?“

Will slowly shook his head, but still didn't say anything.

„Think about how you have helped to raise your sisters, how you have _protected_ them from an abusive parent – That's actually a pretty good indication that you won't act like your father yourself.“

Not looking quite as anxious anymore Will still obviously didn't believe Habib. „But how can I be _sure_?“

Habib gave him a patient smile. „Okay, back to visualisation. Let's assume you have a baby of three-month and it's crying all night because it is colicky. You have to be up early for an important meeting with Charlie and your new boss and you _really_ need to sleep. What would you do? What's the first thing that comes to your mind?“

„I would try to soothe the baby, of course. What else?“ The look Will gave Habib was a mixture of impatience, disbelief and _„what the fuck are we doing here?“_ , but the latter still only smiled at him.

„How would you do that?“

„How should I know? I never had a baby before! Give him some medicine, or rub his tummy or whatever you do in that case. I'd get out the baby books or call a doctor. Or I'd google it."

"What if nothing works and the both of you don't sleep all night?"

Will shrugged impatiently "I'd get a major caffeine boost before the meeting.“

Habib's smile got wider. „Good. And while you were talking just now, did even for a fraction of a second the thought occur to you that you could maybe just put the baby in the room farthest from you bedroom so that you wouldn't hear it cry? Or that you could shake or slap it, be it out of frustration or to make it stop screaming? Or anything else that would put your well-being ahead of the baby's?“

„No!“ Will's expression had changed to outrage while Habib was talking, but when the younger man only looked at him it slowly softened, and understanding dawned in his eyes.

Not once had he thought about a physical way to calm the baby down, about taking care of his own needs instead of the baby's by just letting it cry and trying to get some sleep for himself. On the contrary, just thinking about it now, after having been reminded of these possibilities, sickened him, and he was actually angry at Habib for simply pointing them out.

The doctor however just smiled, satisfied with the revelation he knew Will just had.

„You're gonna be fine, Will...“

Will looked at him hopefully. „Are you sure about that?“

„Nobody can be one hundred percent sure, but I would say you don't have much to worry about. And don't forget that you have MacKenzie at your side...“

Will smiled. „That's what Charlie said.“

„Well, he seems to be a smart man.“

„Yeah, he is...“ Standing up Will held out his hand. „I'm sure the guard will be showing up any minute. Thank you, Jacob, you really helped me out here.“

„My pleasure... Thank your wife for sending me here...“ Shaking his hand Habib hesitated for a moment. „Would you mind if I called her and let her know that we had a good talk? No details of course, just to ease her mind...?“

„I would really appreciate that a lot, thank you.“

„Okay. And Will... You should come and see me once in a while when you're back home, I don't think it would hurt.“

„I will.“

 


	12. Day 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit:  
> I just noticed that this chapter fits the criteria for lilacmermaid's Newsroom Fanfic Challenge June ("How and when did Mackenzie first suspect that she might be pregnant?"), so I "entered" it by editing the tags. ;-)

**Day 50  
**

„Are you okay, Mac?“  
Jim looked worried and instinctively held out his hand to support his boss on their way from the conference room to her office where she had asked him to join her. „You are a little pale.“

„I'm fine, Jim, thanks. I didn't sleep that well last night.“ Mac smiled at her brotherly friend. She should have realized that he would notice that she hadn't been there one-hundred percent during the rundown meeting, and just now she had almost stumbled over her own feet. He never said anything, but she knew he had taken it on as his personal responsibility to make sure that she got through the time without Will without losing sight of her own well-being.

Entering her office she walked over to ther desk. „Close the door, Jim.“

The young man followed her instruction and then stepped in front of her desk behind which she had just sat down, slipping off her shoes with a relieved sigh.

„What is Bree up to now? You know more than me, being locked up in here most of the day.“

„I'm honestly not quite sure. He is pretty tight with the big boss... Remember the app he pitched about a week ago? I think when we didn't jump on it Bree showed it to Pruit and got the okay to put it on our website...“

Mac frowned. „Without even talking to us about it? Does Charlie know?“

„He has to, doesn't he?“

With a sigh she leaned back in her chair and pinched the bridge of her nose. „I will talk to him. Keep an eye on Bree, will you? I don't trust him...“

Jim nodded and turned around, but stopped before he reached the door. „Sure you are okay? Can I get you anything?“

„No, thanks.“ Mac shook her head and smiled at him. „I just need a strong coffee. First, though...“ She angled for her shoes again, got up and joined him on his way out of the office. „...I will go and see Charlie.“

She walked over to the elevators and on the ride up to the executive floor she experienced a queasy feeling in her stomach, just like she had when coming in this morning already. She _really_ hoped she didn't catch a stomach flu...

Stepping out of the car on the 44th floor she stopped shortly for a couple of deep breaths to calm her stomach down and decided to better take the stairs on the way down.

When she reached Charlie's office she asked his secretary Millie for a few minutes and opened his door after a slight knock once she was allowed to go in. Charlie was just finishing a phone call, and when he pointed at one of the chairs in front of his desk Mac sat down, taking the opportunity to study him for a moment.

He looked tired and pale, and once more she worried what this continuous balancing act between their new boss and the staff, between ratings and content, was doing to him. Still, as much as she hated to add to his worries, it was her job to fight for the quality of their show, and that's what she would do.

When Charlie hung up he closed his eyes for a moment before looking at Mac. „That was Pruit with another one of his fucking ideas for the morning shows...“ He sighed but then turned his attention to her. „What can I do for you, Mac?“

„Jim just told me that Bree has put up this crazy stalker app on our website, although we told him not to when he pitched it. Do you know about this? And why wasn't I told?“

„It's been running for 5 days now already, didn't you notice?“

„You know very well that I don't follow our website that closely. In fact I never _had to_ when Neal was in charge; it looks like that has to change... I will assign an intern to keep me updated on what happens on there.“

Charlie looked at her for a moment and then sighed again „Mac, Pruit wants us to also report on some of the bigger stuff that comes in through that fucking app on TV; like footage of current events being send in. And he wants us to cover celebrities and starlets and whatever they are doing, especially when they are embarrassing themselves in public...“ He looked disgusted but lifted his hand when she wanted to say something. „And no, not just dayside, the evening shows as well.“

Mac was gaping at him. „Are you fucking kidding me?

Shrugging his shoulders he avoided to look at her. „I have the feeling he is hoping for a big scoop, like the Boston bombing, a cop shooting or even a second 9/11, and we have the exclusive pictures...“

Mac was almost speechless, but only almost. „We will not... Charlie, what _happened_ to you? Four weeks ago you were at his fucking throat for ordering us to cover Will and my private life, and now you want us to put gossip and unvetted content on the show? You are not supporting this, are you?“

Charlie wanted to respond but she didn't let him get a word in edgewise.  
„And how does Pruit know about the app anyway? Bree is working for _me_... He cannot just go to the head of the company directly!“ Mac was fuming. „Did he come to you?“

He tiredly shook his head. „No. I was sent a memo that the app has to be implemented into the website.“

Mac paused for a moment and then went on with a softer voice. „Charlie... I appreciate your precarious position between Pruit and us, but what happened to your principles?“ She sighed. „Remember when you came to D.C. to get me out of that damn bowling alley? I was ready to produce a day show and you convinced me to come here to take over Newsnight for an hour of news that is a genuine service to the public. You offered me a 'fast car', to use your own words, and now you want us to ride a bicycle?“

Mac's last words reverberated for a moment, but finally Charlie straightened himself up in his chair. „Do _you_ remember telling me back then that you didn't have any options? Well, we don't either. We have to find a compromise, Mac, or you won't have a show anymore at all...“

Charlie's tone was final and Mac knew, that she had been dismissed. She contemplated continuing this argument for a moment, but she realized that as her boss he would always have the upper hand in the end and got up to leave his office. Reaching the door though, she turned around and looked at him with a sad expression.

"You wanted to be proud of your flagship again, Charlie... Are you?“

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Mac came back to her office a steaming cup of coffee was waiting for her on her desk. She couldn't prevent a smile at Jim's thoughfulness, but her mind was still dealing with the encounter she had just had with Charlie, and with a regretful sigh she sat down and took an appreciative sip before she closed her eyes and leaned back. Suddenly though she opened her eyes again and put the cup back on the desk as if she had burned her fingers. She stared at it for a moment before slowly opening the top desk drawer to look at the brown paper bag in there.

Her thoughts went back to when she had entered the bullpen in the morning, where Sloan had already been waiting and followed her to her office.

„ _Good morning, Mac! How are you feeling?“_

„ _Fine, thanks. What's up?“_

_Sloan hesitated, looking slightly uncomfortable. „I was wondering...I'm not sure if I should congratulate you...“_

_A confused frown showed on Mac's face. „On what?“_

„ _Well, today is your fifty-day wedding anniversary, but that also means...“ Sloan's voice trailed off. „I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...“_

„ _It's fine.“ Mac interrupted her with a sad smile. „Do you really think that I'm not counting the days? Just... Let's treat this like any other day, okay?“_

_With a relieved smile her friend nodded. „Can I at least invite you for a drink tonight?“_

„ _Sounds good, but let's see how today goes first; looks like it's gonna be busy. I'll let you know later.“_

„ _Great. See you at the rundown.“ Sloan turned around and left the office, while Mac took off her jacket. Suddenly she froze._

_Fifty days... Today was Will's fiftieth day in prison, and if her count was correct that meant...._

_Like in trance she walked towards her desk and slowly sank down onto her chair, staring at her desk. She counted again, and then once more, using her fingers both times, and indeed it must have been about 60 days now that she had last had her period. With all that had been going on she hadn't even noticed... Could it be...?_

_Pressing the back of her hand to her mouth to stifle any sound Mac's gaze moved from the desk to her stomach and she moved her other hand to cover it. She hardly dared to think in that direction, but she_ had been _feeling slightly nauseous once in a while lately, especially in the mornings. In fact just now on the elevator again... She had always pinned that on all the stress and her rather irregular eating habits which had gotten worse again since Will couldn't keep an eye on her anymore, but never would she have thought..._

_She glanced at her watch and seeing that it was a good time for a short break she quickly got up, took her jacket and left her office. On the way to the elevator she called out to Jim that she would be back in half an hour._

And now she was sitting here, looking at the bag she had brought back with her that contained a pregnancy test. She itched to take it right now, but she knew that there was no way that she would be able to concentrate afterwards, no matter what the result would be, so she would stick to her decision to do it at home, after the show.

Closing the drawer again she determinedly took the coffee cup and put it on the shelf behind her. If she had her own bathroom she would pour it down the drain, but she assumed her walking to the ladies' room or to Will's office to do that would most likely raise suspicion. Instead the cleaning staff would have to take care of it tonight, and for now she would at least enjoy the delicious _smell_ of coffee floating through the room.

Sitting down again she took a deep breath. _Focus!_

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After the final rundown meeting Mac decided to go upstairs to see Charlie again. She wasn't able to get their earlier confrontation out of her head and knew that they needed to talk.

As Millie had already gone home for the day she knocked at his door and entered when he invited her in. „Do you have a minute?“

He didn't look at her nor did he answer for a second, but then he put his glass of Bourbon back on his desk and sighed. „Come in, Mac.“

Stepping in she immediately spoke. „Charlie, I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier. I know you have our backs and seeing what you are facing...“

Now he did look at her. „Thank you.“

He appeared to be even more tired and worn out than he had in the morning, and Mac couldn't help but ask. „Charlie, are you okay? You look terrible...“

„Thank you.“ He repeated himself, though very dryly this time, but then he went on. „I'm glad you are doing what you are doing, Mac. Just keep going and leave everything else to me. I promise you that I will try to do everything to keep up the quality of our shows, but you also have to realize that we will have to make compromises...“ Mac nodded but didn't interrupt him.

„So, going back to the bowling alley... You could say that we have to alter our agreement to the original one segment for you, one for me... or better Pruit...“ He paused for a moment befor he continued. „We have to pick our fights, Mac. Give in to his knucklehead stuff to get some good quality reporting in as well.“

„I know...“ She sighed sadly, but then she gave him a warm smile. „And I hope _you_ know that I'm there for you if you ever need anything, don't you? I wont' shy away from a good fight, even if it's Pruit. Just call me.“

„You don't worry about me; just do your work, we need you here. And now get back to your show."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The day stretched out and the later it got the slower time seemed to pass. Luckily in the end it wasn't a heavy news day or Mac might have not gotten through the show as well as she did, but as it was it didn't matter that once in a while her thoughts began to stray.

Finally though Sloan passed the baton on to Washington and the last jingle sounded, announcing the end of the program. After a few more words with her control room team Mac went to her office, quickly grabbed her things and went to the elevator.

Waving her hand at Sloan, who only now came out of the studio, she smiled at the memory of how difficult it had been to get out of the suggested date with her this evening. It had taken some time to convince her friend that she would not spend the night moping on the couch without giving away too much, but she did manage it while not even getting close to the real reason which was now safely hidden in her briefcase.

After a short ride home in the ACN company car Charlie still insisted she used Mac freshened up a little, changed into more comfortable clothes and then sat down on the couch, putting the brown paper bag on the table in front of her. Taking a deep breath she opened it and took out the pregnancy test, a rectangular box with lilac and pink being its dominant colours. After carefully reading the instructions she went to the bathroom to do what had to be done and then set the alarm on her Blackberry.

Never in her life had ten minutes felt so long and she wished nothing more than to have Will at her side right now. After pacing up and down in their bedroom for a while she finally sat down on the bed and looked at his picture she had placed on the nightstand, so that it was the last thing she saw at night and the first thing her eyes fell on in the morning.

Taking it into her hand she let her index finger run over it, tracing his cheek and then his lips. „Oh, Billy... How I wish you were here...“

For a moment she was lost in his face but then her alarm went off. After a slight startle she put the picture back down and turned off the sound. Taking another deep breath she then got up and walked towards the bathroom, but suddenly she turned around and grabbed the picture frame again. Of course it was silly, but she wanted Will to be there when she looked at the result, and if this was the only way this was possible then so be it.

Stepping up to the sink where she had placed the test she pressed the picture frame to her chest, face front, and reached for the dipstick, but then she closed her eyes for a second. A nervous flutter spread through her stomach and she almost had to force herself to open her eyes again.

Pink! She could clearly see a pink line and that meant... Oh my God, they would have a baby!

Tears sprung to her eyes, but she couldn't take her gaze of the little plastic stick. Finally Mac couldn't prevent the wide grin taking over her face anymore, and she slowly went back into the bedroom. She put the test and Will's picture back onto the nightstand and just wanted to crawl into bed when a thought occured to her. She went over to the dresser with its large mirror to look at her profile, pulling her shirt up and her pants down a little.

No, there was nothing to see yet; her stomach was still flat as it always had been. She carefully placed her hand over it, her thumb tenderly stroking her skin. Then she tried to conjure up an image of herself in the late stages of pregnancy, but then she shook her head. She had heard that these home tests weren't always accurate, so first thing tomorrow morning she would call her ob/gyn to get an appointment as soon as possible.

Still, she had a feeling that the test was right, after all she _had_ missed her period and also hadn't been feeling all that well these last couple of weeks. Still smiling she went back to the bed and lay down on her side, facing Will's picture with her hand protectively covering her stomach.

She was wondering when it had happened and quickly settled on their last night before he was incarcerated. With all the stress that had been going on at that time they hadn't had sex for a few days before that, and if she was right that last night must have fallen directly into her fertile days.

Stroking her belly again she bit down on her lower lip to prevent her tears from falling, failing completely, but finally she softly whispered with a tear-stained voice „Hello, my little darling, this is your Mommy... Your Daddy would also love to be here, if he hadn't something very important to do somwhere else. But I know that he will be just as happy as I am...“

Mac couldn't wait to tell Will, but while she started to imagine his reactions she realized immediately that she mustn't let him know as long as he still was in prison. If he knew that she was pregnant he wouldn't even wait for Lasenthal to come in to get the whistleblower's name from him but was likely to just jot it down on a piece of paper and stage a prison break.

She would _not_ be responsible for him giving up the source. As much as she wanted him to know, she did not want to be the reason for him betraying his convictions – And he would do that if he knew, that she was sure of.

She had come here on her own and she would not tell him unless she had to or because she couldn't hide it anymore – If he had to stay locked up that much longer anyway...

With a happy smile she touched his picture once more. „I love you, Billy... I will take good care of our baby, I promise...“

 


	13. Day 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last day – last chapter...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little warning up front:  
> This chapter now explains the M-rating – But hey, what do you expect? Will's coming home!

**Day 52  
**

„He died...“  
Mac could barely say the words for she knew too well what they would do to Will. And sure enough she saw him freeze, just looking at her, his eyes full of shock. Then, once he started to digest what she had said, his expression shifted to disbelieve and despair.

All she could do was hold him and whisper that everything would be alright, though she herself wasn't sure about that. This wasn't how this moment was supposed to be – Will finally coming home!

She held on tighter, his head nestled in the crook of her neck and one of her hands in his hair while the other one soothingly ran up and down his back. She supposed they should be grateful for the small things, in this case that she didn't have to tell Will about Charlie during one of her visits to jail and then have to leave him alone to deal with it on his own. But still, couldn't for once anything go smoothly for them? Didn't they at least deserve a short time of happiness without another tragedy descending upon them?

Will hadn't moved except for closing his arms around her when she had pulled him into her arms, and she realized that he was in shock, just like she had been when the doctors had come out of the emergency room to tell them that Charlie had lost the fight for his life.

Nancy and Leona had arrived shortly thereafter and she had been the one to tell them. Nancy, Charlie's wife for so many years, had almost collapsed at the news, but Leona had taken care of her and shooed Mac out of the hospital to meet Will when Rebecca's call had come in.

With a sigh Mac moved both her hands to Will's head to move him from her shoulder. Tears threatened to fall when she saw his empty eyes, but she bit them back and let her thumbs tenderly caress his temples. „We should go home, Billy...“

These words seemed to reach him in and he slowly nodded and let her pull him into the direction of the car, but then he stopped. „Nancy... We need to...“

„She's okay.“ Mac interrupted him and continued their way. „Leona will stay with her until Sophie arrives.“

„Good...“ Following her again they slid into the back seat of the SUV that had brought Mac to the Detention Center, and while the ACN driver left the parking lot and merged into the traffic Will pulled her into his arms. His chin rested on her head but neither of them said a single word until they arrived at their place and then only to thank the driver.

Riding up in the elevator they stayed close to each other, drawing comfort out of their touch. When Mac finally closed the apartment door behind them and turned on the lights Will didn't waste a second to look at what she had accomplished in regard to the renovations while he had been gone. Instead he grabbed her arm without warning and pulled her in for a desperate kiss. She responded immediately and flung her arms around him, pressing herself against his body and clenching her fingers in his hair.

Will couldn't wait a second longer. Not letting go of her lips he feverishly let his hands run up and down Mac's body, squeezed her ass, then reaped her skirt up to her waist. After pulling down her panties with hand and foot he took a couple of steps, pushing her against the wall and making her gasp. With an exasperated whimper he picked her up and she more than willingly wrapped her legs around his waist. „Yes, Billy, _yes_...“

Supporting her with only one hand and his upper body weight he opened his pants to free his straining erection, and without any hesitation he entered her with one deep thrust.

This wasn't the time for soft kisses and light touches, this wasn't a gentle reunion but pure physical and emotional need for both of them. Will frantically pushed into her, hard and fast, causing her to moan loudly, and after only a few moments both of them exploded into each other, shouting out their names.

Struggling to catch their breath they kept holding each other, resting their heads in the crook of their necks, Mac still up against the wall and her legs crossed behind Will's back.

When Will came down and was able to breathe more evenly he looked up and ruefully gazed into her eyes. „I'm sorry, MacKenzie...“ he whispered. „This wasn't how I had imagined this.“

She stroked through his hair, still out of breath but smiling. „Don't apologize, there's nothing I wanted more... We both needed it...“ Giving him a tender kiss she knew this hadn't just been about the long time they had been separated but also a reaction to Charlie's death and the need to feel alive. „God, I have missed you so much...“

Will kissed her back softly, then stepped away from the wall and made his way to the bedroom, still carrying Mac who clung to his neck. „You're knees are gonna kill you tomorrow.“ she mumbled into his skin.

Grunting he gently put her down on the bed before removing his clothes. Then he lay down next to her and started to unbutton her blouse. After taking it off her bra followed, and then he allowed himself to just look at her in awe for a moment, taking in her beauty and relishing the fact that he was finally able to see and touch her again.

Ever so lightly he touched her breasts before pulling her in for a long and slow kiss. His hands were entangled with her hair, and he didn't want this kiss to ever end.

Mac's little moans was all the welcoming he needed and after that hasty episode in the hallway he now wanted to indulge in the slow lovemaking they both enjoyed so much. Looking at her he saw his own desire mirrored in her eyes and told her with a husky voice „I'm going to make love to my wife now...“

This simple sentence that contained so much promise forced Mac to hold back her tears. „Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear this?“

„I would guess 52 days?“ Leaning in Will kissed a line from her jaw down her neck to her breasts, cupping one with his hand while caressing the other with his mouth.

„Almost six years...“ Gasping she arched into his touch and couldn't prevent a desperate groan when he latched onto her nipple to suck on it. It seemed to be more sensitive than usual and a myriad of sparks exploded throughout her body. „Billy...!“

„I know...“ Murmering around her stiff peak his hand teasing the other one at the same time. Finally he switched sides to torture her other breast before slowly sliding down her body. Kissing every inch he did not leave out the scar on her stomach before opening the zipper of her skirt. Pulling it down he placed himself between her splayed leg and inhaled her scent he had missed so much during the weeks in prison. Finally he delved in and let his tongue run through her folds, groaning when he tasted the mixture of their juices.

After a few testing licks Will concentrated on her clit that was standing proud and when he put his lips around it Mac couldn't help but buck her hips into his face and moan. „Fuck, Will, fuck... _Please_...!“

Smiling into her skin he grazed the little nub with his teeth while sliding one finger into her opening. „You are so sexy, Mac. I love it when you're loud, tell me what you want...“

His wife panted. „I want... please... I need... _more_!“ The last word was almost a scream that resulted from Will adding a second finger and moving both inside her. Repeatedly grazing her G-spot he felt her inner walls starting to clamp down on them and continued to thrust into her relentlessly. When he added his thumb to the mix and put just the right amount of pressure on her clit Mac broke and a string of unintelligible words fell from her lips while she clawed her fingers into his hair to keep him close.

Slowly withdrawing his fingers Will stayed between her legs and placed soft kissed onto her skin. Letting his hands run up and down her thighs he brought her down gently, chuckling proudly when he heard her continuous rambling. „Jesus fucking Christ... Billy, that was... Goodness gracious, you didn't forget a thing, _fuck_ , that was so good... Come up here...“

Kissing his way up her body he covered Mac, his arms framing her head and his eyes locking with hers. „I love you, Mrs. McAvoy...“

With a sigh Mac pulled him down for a lingering kiss. „So many people have called me that over the last weeks, but nobody said it like you.“ Kissing him again she let her tongue run over his lips before letting it enter his mouth while her hand moved down over his chest to his cock, that was already standing at attention again and hardened further when she gave it a few pumps. „Get in me, Billy...“

Will growled and then turned them around so that he was lying on his back and she was on top of him. „I want to see you...“  
Letting his hands run down her back to her ass to press her against him he repeated that primal sound when she ground into him and then sat up to straddle him. With another stroke of her hand along his dick she raised herself over him to slide him inside her, moaning unabashedly at the indescribable feeling.

When she was filled completely she paused for a second, closing her eyes to relish the moment, before she looked down at Will again whose eyes didn't waver for a second while taking in the picture in front of him. They were dark and wide, and his expression showed her everything that she had missed for the past 52 days.

Leaning down she kissed him passionately before murmering „I love you“ against his lips. Then she straightened herself up again, put her hands on his chest and started to slowly move up and down. Biting her lower lip to hold in another moan she then lasciviously smiled at him. „Is that... more like what... you imagined... in jail?“

„God, yes...“ Will panted heavily and placed his hands on her hips, thrusting up several times to meet her every downward path. When he felt her muscles starting to flutter around him again he suddenly held her in place, pressing deep inside her and preventing her from continuously moving, until she whimpered and tried to at least grind into him. Finally she moved one of her hands to her clit to provide the pressure she so desperately needed and almost sobbed when she felt her orgasm approach.

„Look at me, Mac... _look at me_!“

When she did, the intensity in his gaze shaking her to the core, Will started thrusting again and moved his hands to her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers. „Oh fuck, Billy... Yes, yes... I'm coming, I'm...“

„Come with me, come now!“ The moment he shouted these words he started to release himself inside her, feeling her walls contract continuously around him. Never closing his eyes Will reveled in the ecstasy that he put on her face and with the final thrust he was only able to call out her name. „MacKenzie!“

Falling apart around him his wife followed him over the edge and then fell foward onto his chest, completely exhausted and close to tears. „Billy, oh Billy, I missed you so much!“

Will pressed her against him, determined to never let her go again. Completely out of breath he couldn't answer for a long while before he buried one of his hands in her hair and mumbled sweet words into her ear.

When he had softened he turned them onto their sides and carefully slid out of her without ever letting go. It was a warm summer night, but their overheated bodies started to cool of quickly, so he pulled the bed cover over them before turning on his back and taking Mac with him to snuggle into his side.

For a long time neither one of them said a word, Will's eyes were closed and both still tried to catch their breath. Then slowly reality came back, and now that their most urgent need was sated the thought of Charlie crushed down on both of them again.

Running his fingers through her hair he finally whispered. „How is is possible to be so happy and so sad at the same time?“

Looking up Mac's heart almost burst with the love she felt for him, tinged with more than a little regret that he had to go through this. Leaning on her elbow she stroked his hair and leaned in for a soft kiss „I know, Honey...“

How different had she expected this moment to be, him finally coming home. But instead of complete bliss they were torn between their happiness to be together again and sorrow about their loss.

And then... For days now she'd had the burning desire to tell Will that she was certain that they were expecting a baby. She knew it would make him so happy, and had it been any other day it would have been one of the first things she'd told him, certain that it would help him to look forward and forget about the time in prison. But now he had to deal with the death of his best friend and mentor, and he needed time to come to terms with it and mourn his loss before other gigantic, overwhelming emotions would instill the complete opposite feelings in him.

After all, what if it turned out to not to be true? She had seen her doctor only this morning and was still waiting for the results of the blood test. No, right now she couldn't get his hopes up and maybe have to crush them again in the end.

She knew he would be so happy; they had talked about having a family, but now was not the right time to distract him from his thoughts about his best friend. She would wait, but she vowed to herself that the moment she was sure she would tell him, no matter where they were or who was with them.

Will unconsciously continued to let his hand roam through her hair and couldn't prevent the tears from gathering in his eyes. „What happened?“

Now it was Mac's turn to turn flat on her back and stare at the ceiling. With a sigh she took Will's hand and started to speak with a quiet voice. „I've told you about the conversations I had with Charlie a couple days ago. He told me to keep on going and keep fighting for our show, and that's what we did... This app on our website that Bree has developed, ACNgage, is just terrible, and Sloan took him for a ride during the show tonight. I didn't know about it before, but I didn't do anything to stop her either... When we were off the air Charlie came down and he was _so_ mad at us, but when Pruit followed in his footsteps and wanted to fire us all, he still defended us... And then he had the heart attack; he just collapsed and hit his head on a desk and then he was lying there on the floor... He looked so scared, Billy...“

Her last word were just a quiet whisper with her tears flowing freely now, and all Will could do was pull her to his chest, trying to console her while he himself was on the brink of tears. „Shhh... shhh... It wasn't your fault, Mac. He had been troubled and worn himself out for a while now, we've talked about it when he came to visit me... I wish I could have been there to support him... all of you. Maybe I could have taken some of the heat from him...“

Mac sniffed. „He wouldn't have let you. He didn't want us to fight with Pruit ourselves; he tried to protect us... Oh, how I _hate_ this son of a bitch! I still don't understand why he bought a news station and not some entertainment media outlet...“

„I know... Charlie was asking himself the same thing...“ Will sighed. „I can't believe he is gone... How is Nancy?“

„Not good... She's fine for now, not alone at least, but we should go and see her tomorrow.“

„Yeah... We also need to see the staff...“

„I rode in the ambulance with him, Billy... He was conscious, but he couldn't talk... I could only hold his hand, the paramedics were doing all sorts of things to him... He looked so small on that gurney...“ Her tears flowing freely again by now and she leaned up on her arm again and looked at Will with her tear-stained eyes. „What's gonna happen now? I'm scared, Billy...“

Not really knowing how to answer he let his hand glide down her arm to entangle his fingers with hers. Finally he just told her the truth. „I know, me too...“

„I always thought we would all stand up against Pruit. Together, the three of us, with the whole team. But now... without Charlie...“

Pressing a long kiss into Mac's hair Will sighed. „I guess it's just us now...“

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed my take on the 52 days Will was in prison!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
